Fucking pissed off “family” kept trying to convince me to move back here. I should NOT have listened to ANY of them. I come back and it’s absolute shit here, both the living environment + how fucking shitty family is to me. ESPECIALLY with how SHITTY they are to me. Fucking unreal.
WHY TF did I let myself get convinced by them? It’s a FUCKING NIGHTMARE being here.
I was “good” terms with mother before I left, and bc she has a fucking DIFFICULT personality and has ZERO respect for me, things went to shit the second I got back. Literally within the FIRST hour. I didn’t want to come back here and be around her. Things were better when there’s minimal contact. But NO. Fucking rest of the family kept trying to convince me to move back in, that they help get the crappy studio all fixed up nice, so I can live here. Well when the time came, they fucking DID NOT HELP with the studio at all so it’s still shitty, and what was done was NOT done well.
Everything is fucking leaking or crooked.
Anyhow, now I am on shitty terms with Mother. Guess she won’t help me anymore (not that she ever helped me much my whole damn life). She was going to leave me something when she dies but now it’ll be a fraction of that. I mean I already knew she was going to leave everything to the other 2 (the “golden” children) but I was going to get something. The only silver lining was that she’d die and leave me something. Now…
I can’t stand her fucking personality. She treats TWO of her children like gold, but treats me and my other sister like dirt. She knows the other 2’s bdays, along with their kids bday. You think she remembers mine? How do you not remember your own child’s bday? And has the nerve to yell at me about not getting a gift for my niece when it was her bday and made a huge fuss about my nieces’ bday. But what about your OWN goddamn child? OFC she doesn’t bother to remember mine. And for the record, my bday is near both my nieces bdays so she should fucking have a clue when mine is.
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Interesting thing I have noticed about those of us from horrible families is that we sometimes struggle to see who is mentally ill and how .
Oh I know she’s mentally ill. I just had forgotten what a b**** she is. And for some reason, I thought she got better with age. But no, shitty people just stay shitty, or get shittier with age.
That’s why I’m pissed. I’m all kinds of fucked up bc of HER. If I had a different mother, especially one that didn’t abuse the shit out of me and verbally abused me every day, I wouldn’t be the way I am. Hell, I didn’t even mind the physical abuse and giant-ass bruises, bc physical bruises (well at least black and blues and purples) heal and go away. Mental abuse stays with you for life. And she fucked me up. Not just then, but she’s still doing it to me now, and even worse, she’s GASLIGHTING me about shit to make ME crazy when SHE doesn’t want to admit she fucked up stuff.