I am tired of suffering. I just wish I knew how my life would turn out- I need a crystal ball to see into the future. I want to see if I should just kill myself now and be done with it, or struggle some more and maaaaybe life would be better/worth it at some point.
It seems rather pointless and a waste of time and effort if we try, and life still doesn’t improve. Then we might as well end our suffering now.