After decades of misery upon misery- just what CHANCE is there that “things will get better”? That suddenly, that I will finally have a good partner, have a few real good friends, have money/not have to worry about money anymore, and my health improves?
I don’t belong in this world. The ppl who thrive in THIS shitty world are:
1- ppl who are born well off- If you weren’t born into money (and by that I mean at least to middle class parents, which btw, HALF the population are NOT) you are pretty much screwed, unless you manage to beat the odds and get lucky.
2- ppl who are born to GOOD parents- yeah well I was screwed out of that BIG time.
3- ppl who are selfish/don’t care about others/have little emotions for others
4- ppl who use and manipulate others for gain.
This world rewards assholes and bitches. The good ppl either get screwed or used. The ppl who genuinely care about others are few and far in between. The rest just pretend to care. Hell, in some ways, I respect those who are flat out shitty and show it and DON’T pretend they are wonderful when they are not. At least those ppl are real- they may be shitty ppl but they’re not pretending and they’re not out fooling everyone.
Anyway, I was unlucky enough to be born to shitty abusive parents, to poverty. My heart has grown bitter and cold. That’s a natural evolution to being surrounded by assholes and wolves who use and manipulate your good nature. But now bc my heart has grown bitter to this world, it’s impossible to find friends or SO when no one wants to be around a “Negative Nancy.” Even though realistically, that’s what life is- shitty and unfair and horrible to those not born into the “right” circumstances.
Anyway, I’m tired of being a human in this shitty ass world. -_-
There is no “beauty.” What “beauty” is there for those that either have no time or money to enjoy what “beauty” this world has left?
There is always that small chance, that small hope that SOMETHING might change for the better- but the odds are unlikely.
I just wanted a decent, happy life. I’m not asking to be born a Princess or anything. Just a good, happy life. That’s it. That’s all I ever wanted. Apparently that was asking for too damn much…