Today, I came home from work feeling shitty about myself. I don’t feel man enough. Too emotional, too self-critical, not enough accomplished. I am feeling like a bottom of the barrel kind of guy.
Despite feeling like wanting to cry, I changed into some workout clothes and went to the gym. I worked on upper body stuff. This made me feel a little bit better. I’m finding I enjoy exercise more for the mental health benefits than the physical ones. The idea of lifting something heavy repetitively triggers my procrastination response, but when I ignore that and get a good workout in anyway, I come home to a very nice endorphin high.
Just because I feel bottom of the barrel doesn’t mean I am. It was only a feeling. I’m getting better at distinguishing my feelings from reality.
I need to work on being kinder to myself Inside my own head. But I got past the struggle today, and that feels like a win. I’m gonna stick with the exercise, too. It feels good.
One day at a time.