Been living on my own the past 2 months now, there’s good and bad.
Finances are always the problem though.
I’m terrible with money, but I really don’t buy that much. Most of the money I make goes to bills and food.
I’ve been keeping up with the important bills for the most part, but have an empty fridge. Been sacrificing food quality for cheap meals to make sure I can keep up with bills.
Don’t know if I’ll ever retire. I have no kids, no wife or gf, not sure what I’d even leave for future generations. I’m nowhere near buying a home.
I’m working on living with less. If I have internet access, I can socialize and watch youtube, take my CCNA in a few months, and game occasionally. I’m alone so getting food for 1 doesn’t require too much, but I still can’t save or put toward a 401k.
I hate money. I’m glad I’m not rich, as much as money is security in this world, I just would like to have enough to be comfortable, and nothing more.
I can’t chase money for another 30 years and then try to retire. I just feel like I’m not getting any closer to figuring this out.
I’m lucky to have good friends and family. I have someone I care for deeply as well. We’ve gone through a lot, and we’re still close, but she’s thousands of miles away, busy, and has a boyfriend. She’s been very supportive of me and I of her, so even though there is distance, I’m glad she does check on me.
With all of that being said, I’m trying to be realistic with myself as a whole. I just need to stabilize myself more first, then I can worry about adding a girlfriend or a family, however that happens. If that even happens.
There are lots of reasons why I really don’t feel like I’m much of a man, but I really am trying to get it together. I am a mental mess, I wonder if I’m crazy sometimes, but I think progress is there. It’s slow and built up over more than a decade, but it’s there.
I’m trying to keep going, for my own sake.