What a Selfish World

That’s tough, job hunt is so soul sucking. The hardest thing I found was keeping rolling, keeping moving to the next thing, because you invest so much into an oppertunity, especially when they pump you up with an interview, false promises or offers.

Rule one of job hunting; companies lie.

Rule two; other people in the job market aren’t with you unless they explicitly demonstrate it. Not if they say it, talk is cheap.

TBH, I job hunted so long I feel like Dr. House about the whole thing: everyone involved is lying, diagnose issues like a cynical hateful old man.

I’m trying to get to the point I have more to give, love wise, kindness wise, friendship wise. I used to be so kind when I was younger. It was reflexive, and that part of me is still there, buried under trauma.

I’m having an easier time doing it with the kids I work with, but I’m so compartmentalized and in a different headspace at work….. someday I’d like to earn enough to have that good of a life outside of work. Have my own kids? See, I’m proving your selfish statement. People have goals, and goals denied form resentment.

I want there to be a way that all workers could succeed, some sort of group of workers collectively bargaining, almost like a….. it starts with a U, and ends with a nion……. don’t mind me, just being an agitator. It’s just that the whole playing games with job seekers is part of the at will employment dance. They do it so that everyone is terrified to lose their jobs. If they hired based on merit….. then they’d have to terminate based on actual incompetence, can you imagine? What would happen to the executive class?!

I mean, probably same thing as now, they’d go into politics.