Little jerk forced me into a lie today, and I was kind of impressed at it. One of my favorite kids so to be clear the little jerk thing is a term of endearment. He’s one of the smartest kids I work with so he does make little asides that surprise me from time to time.
“Why do adults never brush their teeth”, a comment about my bad breath….. and he got me. I’ve had a headache most of the day and I’m bad at lying to him, so I admitted to having bad breath and not brushing my teeth. What I didn’t tell him was the real reason why. I told him it was because I had jerky for breakfast. It was the sort of sly answer he’d give me, he also tells me things he knows I can see through, it’s a surprisingly nuanced relationship for his age.
The real reason is because I’m a vaper, and when you vape the vape does most of the work of brushing teeth, getting stuff dislodged, smoking can do it too. Having bad breath isn’t something I worry about a lot because I’m past my dating days and in general I don’t usually have to care about impressing people, most of my clients wouldn’t rise to make a comment about it, most don’t have the vocabulary or interest. So it’s really just so incredibly inconsequential. It’s like why I don’t shower more. Of course I should, but no one cares.
Better healthier habbits are doable, but they take time from other things, and if they don’t provide tangible rewards I have to weigh their real benefit. One of the big upshots of being an adult is getting away with not doing things you don’t want to……
Which is why I lied. I think I was told that too early myself, it’s why I became such a rebellious little cuss. I don’t know if his family or his school has the resources to handle another like me. I wouldn’t be doing him favors by teaching him to realize that many of the things he does to please his teachers and parents are arbitrary, that the authority figures in his life are clueless, helpless and often less intelligent than he is.
You give a kid thoughts like that, he’s going to to end up oppositional defient. He might end up with anti social personsonality disorder.
I don’t envy his generation, when they get around to realizing what they are getting, what their parents and all of us previous generations are leaving them. So the lie is the fig leaf. He can’t know the amount of nicotine it takes to deal with how awful the world is right now. This kid is so excited for the fourth of July it’s adorable, wouldn’t you give anything to protect that? Just to preserve someone who still has that kind of innocence and hope.
Maybe I’m wrong to do it, I mean I did tell a lie, and to lie is wrong, but what I’m covering up is wrong too. I’m surrounded by screaming kids all day, kids who scream just because of the sickness already in their heads, I don’t feel a need to add from the sickness in my own head. The sickness that lives in the world that their parents have worked so hard to protect them from, that’s something they have to discover on their own.
It definitely is beyond the scope of my job to tell them about the ways of the world.
5 comments
Funny you brought this up, I had a similar thought the other day about my dog. It occurred to me that when I’m talking to my dog I’m constantly lying through my teeth. “Let’s go for a run, t’s a great day!” and things like that when the truth is every day is a shitty day and I dread going out.
I started thinking about this and wondering if I’m doing a disservice by lying. But immediately I realized what you’re talking about. Sure this world is shit and it’s full of horrible truths that lead us straight to ruin, but it’s that exact reason that obligates us to lie if it will protect those who are still innocent.
And in telling these lies, maybe we can make a last stand against the horror of existence by shielding others as long as we can. I fucking hate “truthful parents” who come charging out of the gate telling their toddlers about how shitty life is. You know, the typical a-hole father who thinks the kid needs to toughen up.
Mental note: re-listen to Johnny Cash “Boy Named Sue”
I think it’s great if not necessary to tell kids about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, that all dogs go to heaven. And similarly I think it’s necessary to shield our pets from the bullshit that they can’t do anything about. What are you gonna do, sit your dog down and say “No, we’re not going running today because the world is full of assholes who might start something, full of hazards like cars and animal control officers who will grab you, haul you off and kill you if you slip off leash… etc”
Little ones don’t need to know that shit.
I learned the horror at an early age because nobody protected me. AND LOOK AT HOW GREAT I TURNED OUT
Not picking a fight- just a question- Why would you need to lie and say to a dog “it’s a great day!”? I don’t think they even understand what you mean. Why not just say “Let’s go for a run!” If you’re sad or happy, wouldn’t your dog already know that? They don’t understand most human words, but they can read your expression, your movements, etc.
Fair question, complicated answer which you may not understand if you don’t have a dog. Although it’s true that they don’t necessarily understand English, they do understand vocal inflections, tone of voice and the “musical” quality of speech far, FAR better than humans understand ourselves. (Due to their exceptional hearing of ranges way beyond our own, as well as their ability to process threats, warnings and signs coming from other animals, an instinct we humans have lost in our obsession over grammar and pointless shit)
What I’m saying is it’s the way you talk to an animal that matters. Sure I could say “It’s a shitty day” in a sarcastically upbeat way, but why? That’s more effort than lying.
Short of it: get a dog (that’s a serious suggestion). Although my comment sounds like I’m complaining, my point was that my forced optimism has a beneficial effect on both my dog and even me. I’d be dead years ago if not for these little “lies” I tell for the sake of seeing a tail wag.
Going to second that suggestion to get a dog, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for my mental health. They are better than children by a long shot. Dogs function as another form of projections of our own selves, while being their own creatures and are known to provide multiple mood benefits.
I use my dog as a mirror for my own disorder, because he tells me things that no one else will. He’ll tell me when I’m a huge mess and to straighten up when everyone else is scared to.
unfortunately, i am allergic to all animals so can’t -_-.
and things like fish are boring so… -_-
i’m also allergic to tons of LOTS of different food.
it’s like…i’m not allowed to enjoy life
so many things that could bring joy i am not allowed to have
hence, me here on this site