Blank Slate

Interview went pretty bad today. Was like 10 minutes long. I don’t give a fuck about tomorrow’s interview but I have to do it. I just don’t care anymore. It’s the middle of fucking October and I’m still here. I’m tired and I haven’t even done anything. I keep thinking all my problems would be solved if my heart just gave out when I slept. Or I had a brain aneurysm. Or I just get stabbed or something. I just don’t want to deal with this anymore. It’s pointless to continue on. Nothing to look forward to. I’ve done everything that I could both do and want to do. I’ve reached my limit to what this life can possible offer. My biggest dream was to live in the middle of the ocean away from everything and everyone. In a way, death is kinda of like that too. Pure uninterrupted solitude. Pure blank slate.