I don’ feel any more butterflies in my stomach when I think of him anymore, all I really feel is pain and that makes me sad. This used to make my world, he brightened it and made it so beautiful. Now, it feels gray and dank and disgusting. Now, when I think about him, I wonder if he even loves me at all, and if he doesn’t then when did he stop. I wonder if it was easy for him to replace me and I pray to the Universe that it isn’t, that if he truly loved me then he won’t be able to -selfish, I know, but I pray for it badly. I wonder what he sees whenever he looks at me. I wonder if he wants to kiss me like he used, if he wants to hold me and call me his sleeping beauty again. I wonder if he thinks choosing another girl over me is haunting him as much as I wish it does. Honestly, I hope he feels like complete shit. you see, I would have given him the world on a silver platter even when I couldn’t afford it. I looked past the things he feared about himself, I saw the lightness in his heart and the darkness and I loved both so much, I never saw a more beautiful nor perfect human being. I didn’t care if he was rich or if he was poor, all I cared about was that we loved each other. You see, he betrayed me twice and I tried to forgive him for both times. The first time he chose the first girl over me and it blew me away; was he so unbelieving in our love? But I forgave him because he showed that he regretted it and he wished to be with me instead and I tried to help him right his wrong. The second time there was no reason for him to choose the second girl and it broke my heart.
So i guess it’s time to move on. I don’t want to but it’s time.