i talked to my parents about me, about how i feel, and that i want to see a psychologist because i feel like i am dying inside but i wasnt strong enough to tell them that they were the reason, i feel this way because of them, i’ve figured it out. They are the ones fucking up my life and i hate it. i have figured that im completely happy when they are not around. But after i talked to them, it became worse, now they are all the time around, they dont even let me go to the freaking bathroom more than 3 m, they are behind my back 24/7 thanks to that i hate them even more now, i really thinking about leaving home, how? when? idk, i just dont wanna see them again, i hate them, i actually dont care if i’d have to sleep in the streets it would be better than being all the fucking time with them. Im truly losing my mind, fuck, i dont know what to do, and im scared of doing something that i will probably regret later, or kill myself that would be another option…Help me 🙁
Lately, been wondering about different lives that could be here, so i want you guys to share why you here…i’ll tell mine too as well.
Im really fat, i dont feel good the way i am, i wan to be skinny, i wanna have thigh gaps, so i started to vomit after every meal and my parents caught me, and now they dont let me go to bathroom by myself and they are checking on me all the time, they’re making me eat lots of food and im getting fatter that what i already am, im going crazy i really dotn know what to do about this situation, im going crazy, i feel frustratded. I need some HELP ME PLEASE IF YOU KNOW WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT THIS?
I’ve been writing like a kind of journal about how i feel and how its this pain killing me inside, and how hard is to hate yourself and have to deal with it just because you were born that way, and how difficult is to struggle waking up every morning when yesterday night you fell asleep crying and overthinking about how stupid and ugly and how much you wanna die, but there you are living again even when you haven’t ask for it, people judge because the way i feel, i didn’t ask for pain, who would actually think that i asked to hate myself and wanting to die, its not my fault but they’re blaming me for it, as always its my fault, im always wrong, no matter what i say or think im always losing, no matter how hard i try it never matters… so im just gonna finish my journal the day that i’ve decided to kill myself and imma give it to someone else, someone that i know that would probably care and read it, because is pretty long so it would take a while to read all of it.
lately ive been crying and i hate myself so much, ive done horrible things to myself im seriously thinking about suicide with some pils. im fat af and ugly and all the bad things that someone could ever imagine. IM starting to vomit after every meal, im losing my mind lately, and no one notice.
Im done with this. i cant take it, this is more than what i can take, ive been depressed too long, ive been pretending that im happy too long, ive been hating myself too long, im horrible in every way, in every way, im fat af, im ugly af, im useless af, worthless af, i have no hope on me, i lost my mind already, and no one notice, to be honest, no one cares, and honesly i dont care either… Im just waiting for death.