hello, i don’t want any suggestions or counselling. I’m really strong for not needing such advisory services.
OK, so let me start…
I have this best friend, whom I fell in love with, after 4 years of being best-friends with her. We used to share everything amongst us. Falling for her was never intentional. In the later stages of 4th year, her behaviour towards me changed a lot, i don’t know what happened. I never realised that I fell in love with her. She knew this very well. After some months, she told me to focus on studies, and not get into it.
Since then, I can’t get her out of my mind. I never contacted her for almost one year, thinking I would get over this thing. But to surprise, life just got worse. I completely lost focus on academics, got into bad company, guilt of not fulfilling my parents expectations is killing me the most. After that, she had 2 boyfriends, none of them lasted for long. My life has become so miserable, I can’t eat, sleep, study properly.
I’ve had suicidal thoughts a dozen times by now. I’m just searching some peaceful ways to free my soul. If not, I’m just waiting to die.