heyyyyy i’m lonely pls email me if youre ever lonely or sad or happy or anything! victoriadenny99@gmail.com <3
AnxiousAngel
I truly believe I am the ugliest human being to ever walk the earth. I hate ever little thing about me and I can’t change any of it. I’m so sick of being ugly. The only thing I feel like I can control is my weight, but trying to control it made me even more out of control and I can’t get better. I feel so hopeless and useless. Life is pointless and stupid, truly. I embarrassed by the way I look. It’s like I can see myself from someone else’s perspective and it’s just embarrassing how absolutely disgusting I am. I don’t know how […]
Hey guys, I’m having a writing block for some reason. Usually I’m able to think about an item, or a specific image and write a poem about it, but my mind seems too tired to do that right now. Do you guys have any suggestions on metaphors or anything I can write about? I would greatly appreciate just one word answers even, like the word clock. Just something simple that I can work with creatively. Thanks 🙂
Since someone wanted to hear it, here it is.
Today my therapist told me that life isn’t about being happy, but it’s about being content.
Today my therapist told me that I should lose weight.
Today my therapist told me to do my makeup and make my hair look nice.
Today my therapist told me that I wasn’t trying hard enough.
But all I heard her say was that it was time to stop trying.
It’s bad, I know. I’m basically bad at everything so no surprise here.
It doesn’t help. I had an appointment today and my therapist told me that she didn’t want to waste my time because I wasn’t getting better. That’s because I hate therapy! And I keep telling everyone that and my mom still makes me go and everyone expects it to help but it doesn’t! It is so artificial and fake. Like she expects me to have the motivation to read a book about what God thinks of me? I don’t care! I don’t care about myself or my life or anything anymore. I don’t care what “God thinks of me” because how can I take an […]
My want to be perfect is so great it’s hard to put into words. I need every part of myself to be perfect; my hair, my body, my personality, my life. But I’m not and it makes me hate myself so much. I wish I could disappear so no one ever had to look at my disgusting person. When I’m in public it’s like I’m looking at myself from someone else’s point of view, and I can see how absolutely ugly I am. I’m so ugly. I am so fat. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder a while ago, and I feel like it […]
My mom asked me today if I thought going into inpatient would help me. I never realized people actually went into inpatient outside of movies. I’m definitely not bad enough for it but it kind of made me realize just how much I scare her. It’s been a rough day at my house and hopefully she forgets about what she saw on my computer earlier, which confirmed her worst fear. I don’t trust myself and she now knows that and it’s terrifying.
Do you ever wonder if you know any of the people on this site personally? I mean the chances are very slim, but I’m sure there are other people who live around me who are also struggling and like to express their thoughts on here. I think it’d be interesting to choose 1 person and communicate with them outside of this website and actually get to know them. Find a friend to go to on bad nights so you can be there for each other and convince each other to stay for at least one more day. Maybe I’m crazy, but it feels good to […]