Here I am, sitting by a lake, with nothing but the moonlight, the Frey’s “You found me,” and my blade… I’ve always been the one to reach out to help others, but came to realize the favor will never be returned. Ive managed to cope as best I could, but Im afraid minor scars dont do the trick anymore. Even as I am writing this – perhaps BECAUSE I am writing this- I am fighting. Fighting with every breath I take not to let the blade glide across my veins and leave me to slowly fall unconsious, while all memories written in scarlet, drip away into the water… What am I fighting for anyway? Maybe my beautiful new friend, Shelly, is right, maybe there’s nothing out there that’s worth the pain….?
We all come with baggage of insecurities, fears, shortcomings, emotions. We all feel, that’s what makes us Human. But…some of us are born with something extraordinary, an ability to feel a lot stronger. It’s a gift and a curse. When we are happy, others can’t comprehend how happy, but when we are engulfed by darkness, we feel miserable enough to die. I speak from the inside perspective, and it really isn’t easy to live with. Sometimes, I look at the sky from somewhere high up, and am ready to reach for the heaven and jump. Other days, I feel so powerful, like i can do anything, change the world with my own two hands. Feelings for us, can mean the difference between living and ending it… This generation is burning into oblivion, with young people going nowhere just because it’s easier. Just think, God alloted us this much more, so the next time you are ready to leave, consider, we are so few already, we can’t afford to lose such a Beautiful You!
I’m not here to judge or talk you out of cutting, overdosing, or other means of escaping. Primarily because i myself have been through it all and still am. My life has been a constant shove here and there for me to pick up the blades i keep in my makeup bag. Scars dont bother me, the pain can be grown accustomed to. I have heard just about every cliche from people who swear they want to help. I am not a reject and have always done well in school and outside. I have friends and am not a total failure as a girl. But thats not what matters. The pain i struggled to keep to myself showed no signs of going away anytime soon. Its a game of chance every day, waking up can mean a beautiful day or a bleak, dark one where i just want to disappear. I feel like hell reaching out to people, like who am I to bother their lives with my problems?! So here’s to anyone who comes across my post, I have created an email address specifically for this purpose. Whatever you may be going through, no matter how effing much you feel like leaving this world, if you feel like you dont have anyone who cares, I AM HERE AND I ONLY WANT TO HELP. I dont know you and you dont know me, we can help each other and it wont feel like we’re imposing on our loved ones because we are total strangers. I sincerely want you to be okay and safe so please, if you’re feeling low, email me: email@example.com. It cant possibly be any scarier than what you’re thinking of doing to yourself, so please, consider it. I’ll always be here for You!