December 29th 2016 i tried to kill my self but it landed me into detox til today January 2nd 2017. I’m so far sober. Everything bad has happened to me. Somebody I thought loved me stole my money so I’m back at square one sleeping in my car. I I’ve been trying so hard to not do anything I’m going to regret. This doesn’t make my situation any better. I try to have faith and it seems like nothing good happens to me. I feel useless to my children and like I’m not worth anything. Me thinking somebody actually did love me once again backfired. Even if I did want to do drugs I couldn’t because he stole that too. I guess God save me because I do have a purpose but what purpose do I have. I lost everything and I couldn’t even take my life right. They say God wouldn’t put you through more than you can handle but I can’t handle all this. Have tried every resource but no one can help. Damn this is so hard. Life isn’t worth all this pain and it damn sure isn’t worth being used and abuse by I many..
The beginning of 2016 was when I got myself together and had my three beautiful children full time I was working as well. I shelters many people family or not and fed the mouth of people who talked bad upon me. I’ve never been the perfect mom sister daughter but I always made sure everyone was good and taking care. October of 2016 was when I experimented with a certain drug. No the drug did not ruin my life but it changed me as a person. The same month landlord told me I could not renew my lease because another lady needed a place to stay with her children so I have been homeless since November 1st of 2016. I found out I had a warrant for my arrest because they subpoenaed me to go to court for child support case I opened on my sons dad. I had to work that day and we were already short on money and I figured to take care of my children me going to work was a better choice. My drug usage started getting heavier when I had to send my kids to my grandparents house. I have been going from hotel to hotel and finally lost my job because they found out I had a warrant. I had to Resort to prostitution to provide for my kids and my family. I slow down on my drug usage so I could focus on living a better life. Even through my struggle I made sure my family and my friends we’re taking care of. I have no help for myself and don’t know how to cope with what’s going on. I failed as a mother a daughter and a sister. I have no reason to live. Everyone in my life has been a blessing or a lesson and I always learned a lesson instead of finding someone who was my blessing. I can’t even care for my kids like a real mom so what’s the point of living. Being a single mom is tough but I can’t provide for them or myself. If you knew more about my life you probably feel the same way too. I’m 22 years old and have fought a tough battle. They say God wouldn’t give you more than you could handle but I have reached my limit. Thank you to everyone who has made a positive impact on my life and I pray I have made a positive impact on at least one person’s life. That is my story of 2016 the eye-opening year. Thank you for reading.