I want to start off by saying this is not so much a cry for help as it is more just for someone to listen for once in my life. You know the guy you always hear about with the “so fucked up it belongs on TV” life? The guy who is a struggling drug addict, unmedicated bi-polar, self hating suicidal freak? The guy who’s self-esteem is at absolute zero because no matter what he does or how hard he tries he is never good enough for anyone? Well, in a short description, that guy is me. I’m not proud or happy to tell anyone that, but it’s who I am. Why hide it? Sure, I’ve had some fucked up shit happen to me, but when it boils down to it, isn’t it my fault anyway? I’m the one who can’t be good enough so surely it is just the punishment due. But then again, does anyone really deserve this? I know I wouldn’t wish this upon my greatest enemy, but then I look in the mirror and remember who the greatest enemy of all is, and realize this is what I’ve earned. All I ever wanted was just to feel a little less alone, but how can I when I’m trapped inside my head with just my greatest demon, myself.