It first stated at the beginning of summer break. My friend from New York told me that goodbye meant she was going to kill herself. She said goodbye to me. I always had the mindset that I was the weak link in every type of relationship I’ve ever been in,whether it’s an unauthorized soccer team or just me meeting someone new. So when I was told that she was going to kill herself, I blamed myself for not being good enough, So I texted a friend, the kindest person from my class, she would always greet me, and would ask me stuff from time to time, even though I would put on an emotionless persona at school, everything about me is unnerving. She was the reason I have anything in my year book besides stuff I designed. But my logical sense always told me that when your the reason that someone did something, you did it yourself, so I said that I was the one who killed her. She called me, and I couldn’t speak because before then, I’d never cry for something sad in front of anyone because I don’t display my emotions like other people do, due to my high functioning Autism, and people get scared of me, so when the dam, broke, I cried for everything that happened and everything I did, all the sadness of dead family and pets, regret of scaring people, everything. all 10 years of school and the sadness that came with it. And as I said before, people get scared of me displaying my emotions, so when that dam broke, she called the police on me. They came to my house, and now I’m on their watch list forever. THEN CAME THE SECOND FUCK UP!!! I texted her for emotional support and her sister or mother, (The actual owners of the phone), said to me that I scared her and that I needed to talk to a psychologist, and told me that she was scared, I said to tell her that I‘m sorry, and to tell her thank you. The person called me a dumbass. and I reflected o it for several days, and now Here I am, writing this in a place for what I believe is the right place. And just in case you didn’t know why I said thank you to her, It was because I never saw myself as I did after I scared her. I saw myself as someone to avoid, and she helped me see that.
I am a young man with a taste for the music before my time, three days grace, and the music of my childhood, Gorillaz. I have scared many people by following my personal morals and holding in emotions. And with enough coffee with caffeine, my heart will pump blood before it is full of blood, and I will have a heart attack. And last and most confuzzling, I was born with underdeveloped lungs to the point where I couldn't breathe.