I want all of you to know that I care about each and every person on this site and most people in general and I want anyone if you need someone to talk to I will talk to you about anything at all so my twitter is @kenziebear_4878 just send me a tweet and if you don’t have twitter comment on this and ill find some way to be able to contact you so please I really want you to msg me if yu need to talk or advice and I can help[ get yu phone numbers to suicide hotline or shelters or hospitals or anything lik that I really want to help cause I love you more then anything even tho I don’t know you 🙂 stay strong <3
so a lot of things have been changing lately for one im kinda homeless you know sleeping on a friends couch but im happy here nd they love me being here its lik when I was younger nd I used to stay with them ime really happy im here for now instead of with my sister which I will eventually be with her cuz that’s where the courts said I had to live but ill figure something out so I can stay happy annyywayy im engaged and I really love this guy im with his names cole nd hes amazing nd he loves me and I don’t even mind his crazy baby mama or is jealous friend both of which try their hardest to break me nd him up but love defeats all I have true faith in that 🙂 coles kinda homeless too unfortunately but he working on getting his job back and all that kinda shit that yu need to live in this fucked up world but I believe were gonna work everything out nd be happy.. my ma or the person im staying with for the moment found out about my little relapse with the blade *sigh* she didn’t make too big a deal out of it but it was still hard but so is life and no matter what I somehow am still alive so might as well roll with it I don’t really wanna make this post too long my soon to be husband should be calling me any minute now soo have a nice day nd happy holidays or merry Christmas or whatever greeting you like just have a nice life
I love yur smile yur eyes the fact yu think yur hair is blonde yur jaw line Yur muscles yur body yur teeth yur funny af yu don’t care abt people that don’t matter yu care for the ones close to yu that yu love I love how sometimes yu stand lik a ****** I love yur voice cuz I’ve never hear anyone even slightly similar to yu :3 I love yur huge head I love the way yu wrap yur arms around me and don’t let me go even when it pisses me off I love how yur so different I can learn something new abt yu everyday and I LOVE YUR DICK!!! ITS NOT FUCKING SMALL I PROMISE YU!!! I love how yur comfortable with me I love that I no yu really want a life with me I love that yu changed me I love that yu do everything yu can to make me happy I love yu
to be honest… I wish I wasn’t sick anymore cause no one gets it. I wish I could have some one like the “sick” girls in my books the girls that are just like me they get rescued y cant I y cant I have some one like tate someone to love me like he loves violet… I have a boyfriend sure but its like he just doesn’t care he said it was “you and me together for always” but he doesn’t love me and I don’t love him.. we both want the same things we like the same things but im not in love with him.. I have my tate but he gave up on me.. he gave up on me.. and he told me so. he stopped loving me. all I want is for him to be back with me. he was helping me he was changing me fore the better. when he left it broke me.. I have no one. I have nothing. I am nothing. I just want to have my one person that wont leave me… I want to die loved
My sister doesn’t know y I sleep so long.. I literally have no reason to get out of bed especially when all she does is make me feel worse accuses me of everything blames me for her nd gordy fighting tells me I’m useless that I’m not shit lik y the fuck would I wanna get up if that’s all that’s gonna happen I’m starting to break Idk Wat to do tbfh Idk how to make my fucking life better
I haven’t been on this site in almost 2 years.. I thought abt it a lot but never had an opportunity to get on. I’ll fill yu guys in on Wats happened since last time I been here… I was in a foster home in merrillville where I started doing heroin. I got caught and tried to run away but the cops picked me up I was brought to this place called the crisis center (the A house or alternative home) it wasn’t so bad there I actually kind of miss it but of course at the time I hated it but I meet some awesome ppl and a very special person named Dylan but I’ll get to him later. After abt a month of being in that emergency placement the took me to a treatment facility. It was the most traumatic thing I’ve experienced and I can’t even explain y. After 7 months of being there I got out I thought life would start getting better from there which I did for a little bit but of course Wat goes up must come down. After I got out I met up with Dylan. It turned out my sister lives down the street from him but unfortunately very far from where I was living at the time. We stared dating and fell madly in love… I still love him but anyway I was living at home again with my mother who let me drink every day nd let a different guy spend the night when ever. Because Dylan was so far and because my mind was impaired more then half the time I need up cheating on the love of my life multiple times with multiple different men. I was always honest with dylan. Some times he forgave me right away and sometimes it took some time but he never stoped loving me. Long distance was hard nd he understood that nd he understood that I had issues and addictions nd he tried helping me as best he could. Eventually I realized that this is real nd that I loved him more then anything. Y do I hurt him. So after the realization I completely devoted my heart and body to him. So my relationship was fine and dandy as for living with my mother was a different story…
To b continued
I love this boy!!! so so so much!!! hes the most amazing person ive ever known. I love everything about him I love how dominant he is lol. im his new plaything (his words not mine) I love how hes my prince and I know he can and will protect me. we are just alike in a lot of ways but hes way more bold than I am lol and I have better reasoning then him we fit perfect and I know it I just wish he didn’t move and we’ve ben fighting a lot lately… :'( im so afraid to lose my best friend I seriously wanna merry this man and have his babys an be with him forever and I know im only 16 and still just a stupid kid but I truly truly hope that his arms are the only arms around me every night till I die. he might die sooner than I tho. he is curntly in the hospital in the ICU… he tried to commett suicide last night and he lost lot of blood. if I lose him idk wat ill doo I cant be with out him im just so in love with him and idk y he would thry to do this. iwish I could be with him
6.thirteen reasons why/jay asher
7.crying scarlet tears/sophie scott
8.scars that Â wound, scars that heal/jan kern
10.stranger in my skin/alysa phillips
I hate this place… UGHH!!! me n my foster sister (shelly)Â gor caugh shoplifting and everyones treating me lik shit. shellys’ twinÂ (Kelly) snitched on me!! wtf!! but not for shoplifting it was for smoking weed and having a bowl in my room… but still. and she was making up a shit load of lies! ughh I just don’t no y she would do that I would do anything for her. I gave her money to put on her moms books. :'( but im so happy for the 2 younger twinsÂ (Karrie andÂ Marrie)Â andÂ when my foster mom said she was gonna search my room, they hid my shit and they lie for me and they would stick up for me when Kelly was making up lies about me. if I didn’t have those girls I would have killed my self. it would have ben so much worse for me if they didn’t do wat they did. but this still really fucked with my head. I truly believe I am a pice of shit. I cut my self last night on my inner arm likÂ 15 times and to day at school I freaked out in class and I cut my self in class!!! 43 times!! wat kinda person does that inÂ class (a fucked up person that’s wat kind). lik I really just wanna die. I really am alone. lik I have friends and I talkÂ to ppl but I don’t have anyone to liveÂ for. all I want in my life is to have at least average grades Â a cute boyfriend that treats me right and wont leave me and to go back home and just try to live a normal life with out these suicidal thoughts and not being able to live mi life as my own I just wand to move passed all this but I don’t think ill b able to make it that far into the future. I just wanna c my dad that’s all I want
ive been thinking about my dad a lot lately. I miss him so much 🙁 most of the time I don’t even feel like hes dead, I feel like he gone but only for the moment. I feel lik hes at work and when I wake up in the morning i’ll be in my room, my dad just getting home from work at 6 am on the dot. when I walk into the living room, he had just sat down for the first time since he got home.Â he still had his hat on and his tee-shirt but his pants had been draped over the back of the couch (my dad would only wear pants if he left the house. it didn’t matter who was at our house, he never had pants on) im mid-way through the living room when he looks up at me with that big goofy smile, that I love so much, and says “morning peanut”. i’d sit on the opposite couch and hang out with him till I had to get ready for school. we would sit and talk, laugh, just enjoy each others company. that’s what I miss the most, just me and him. that’s how it always was. he was the only person I always had. hes the only person I need, and now that hes gone I realize hes the only person I want. IÂ wish I had realized that sooner. there are a lot of wishes I could make right now but theres only one thing I wish for anymore. I don’t care if I have nice things, food, oreven health… I just want my dad back.
my mom used to get fucked up fuck my friends and beat me but in sept. she tried to commet suicide because ima pice of shit to days later my hole world falls apart… my dad died on sept. 23 i was the one that found him i looked at him and i knew but i didn’t want to i walk up to him say daddy and put my hand on his chest it was the worst coldness iv ever felt i still knew but i still didn’t want to i ran to my best friends house holding back tha tears as soon as i walked into her room she asked me wats wrong as soon as i heard that i fell on the floor crying theres something wrong with my dad she gose into her moms room and tells her moms bf he runs to my house 2 hours later me n my friend were in her kitchen when we get a call from her mom she knows everything now but she cant tell me all she cann doo is cry and say im so sryy Mackenzie… my mom was even crazier after that so now im in foster care in a new town with no friends ohh and speeking of friends all my old friends talk maddd shit about me and my fucked up life…
not much has changed sinceÂ last time. im way mor confused now than I ever was before tho. my gramas not comingÂ to live with me. im ok with that thoÂ every ting with foster care is going prettyÂ much tha way I want it to skools alright I guess I got a bf within tha first 3 days. he was a good bf then he broke up w me for no fucking reason and strted talkin shit about me but idc he has HIV!!!! happy I never did anything with him. thebreak up did kinda putt me in a deep depression. I started cutting a lot more and I love it ik that its sick but I cnt help but love it I love looking at it seeing the blood feeling it drip down y arm I love seeing it the nextÂ day when I wake up in that morning still red nd puffy scabbed up nd stuff most of all I love tha look on ppls face when they c it… I cnt even pay attention in class all I do is cry. but who knows it might get better
im in foster care… FUCK MY LIFE i just wanna kill my self. i have no one any more new school new people new everything is rfucked up!!!!!! i really wanna kill my self i need help ansd since god wont answer me plz leave me comments i need guidance 🙁
my mother just wants to take everything away from me. she put my other mom in jail so now i have no where to live cuz i sure as hell aint living at home! my grandma said that she was gonna move in with me in January so i dont have to live with my mom
My fucking mother!!!! How can someone be so mean to there own flesh and blood? My mother is sick and twisted in the head. She stopped taking her meds so shes even worse now. She wants to take everything away from me and i just don’t understand why. All i want is to live with Tressa and be happy but she just wont let that happen. Shes told me a million times she doesn’t care about me so why would she care if i lived with her?? And no its not cause i’m her daughter and she wants to have a relationship with me. All she can see is dollar signs. She is so fucking sick and twisted, there was a Halloween party at the bar the other night you know what her costume was?? my dad!! she dressed up like her dead ex husband for Halloween… that’s not all! There’s been a memory in my head all day. I was like 8 or 9 years old my mother was sitting in the kitchen all dressed up, i walked in and she was crying i asked her what was wrong. She turns around and shows me her bloody wrists and says “this is what you make me do”. that sick fucking ***** told me that i made her want to hurt herself… i was a little girl and she said that. I just don’t understand how someone can not love there child.
Ok, so by the title yu can see that im new soo i dont really know what to say right now. im 16 years old, my daddy died a month ago. he was my rock, the only person i really had… but now that he passed i live with my drunk whore of a mother. shes told me 100 times she doesnt care about me. she calls me a ***** and a slut. i know ima slut but im honestly not a *****. i can act lik a ***** when someone gives me a reason but other than that im a nice person. iv been cutting my self since i was in 7th grade i think i was lik 13 but idkk. iv never actually tryed to commit suicide but i think about it all the time. I know im never gonna do it but I kind of want to. but i couldnt do that to my sister natalie and my other mother. speaking of them i should probably tell youu that there my best friends in the world. Tressa has been there for me since i was 10 and her daughter has been there right next to me. I love them with all my heart and i dont know were i would be with out them right now (probably dead). so yeahh just a little bit about me for now soo peace out.