I got one of those Facebook memory things today from last year. The post I shared read, ” I Talk Myself Out of Suicide Every Day. I’m Afraid That One Day I Won’t Bother”. I shared that post 7 days before I tried killing myself (nearly successful). It’s basically been a year since I nearly died. I’ve been alive another year, and the only thing I managed to accomplish was ruin every friendship I had, for dumb things. But I have too much pride to tell any of them that or apologize. When I woke up, I had hoped I lived because I was going […]
DeathIsInevitable
I almost gave in last night, but instead of taking the razor blade to my wrists; I took it to my thighs. I thought I was past harming myself. I thought I had finally gotten strong enough to physically appear, fine. But the past week as been horrendous, I’m more stressed than I’ve ever been.. along with the most depressed I’ve ever been. I haven’t left my house in 4 days. Not since I got fired. I barely have enough motivation to get out of bed to go to the restroom. I can’t get myself to eat anything, just the sight of food makes me […]
Have you ever sat back and tried to figure out what started your depression? Like, what made me get to the point that harming myself is my only release ? Maybe it was my dad dying when I was a baby (daddy issues) ? But plenty of others have never known their dad and are perfectly fine….. Maybe it was the boy who took advantage of me in 1st grade & stole my innocence ? This seems like the winner, but I remember being so sad before this even happened…. Maybe it’s the way my mother has treated me ? That has to be it. […]