In pain all the time, but around this time is when the horrible physically draining depression rears its ugly head, and it will be this way for several hours. Devastated. Just terribly devastated.
Still contemplating doing this. Still very sad.
I know that some say “Look, if you’re gonna do it, just do it – why talk about it?”
Well, that is because it “is” a big decision with much to get in order before being carried out.
I truly, truly, with all of my heart, feel that I would not be missed but for maybe a day or two by anyone. Just still contemplating. Still very numb, yet in huge pain at the same time, and I know that makes no sense. But it’s true.
This feeling in my chest is horrible. Still so very very broken.