Okay you guys so today was my like last day of school and it actually went pretty well. Â I’m doing alot better this semester then i was last semester. I’m trying REALLY hard to actually do good.. I’m working on my attitude and how angry i get. And I’ve started to write in a journal it really does help if you right things down instead and then go back and read them later. Also i count backwards starting at 10 i know alot of people do that well it works for me lol to calm me down sometimes plus i have a stress ball. I even enjoyed my dance class! So i hope everyone had a good day! (:
Have A Good Day you guys! and Remember to keep your head up!
first i want born. Then i started to grow. My parents spilt up before i was born. But my mother got remarried so i had always thought this man was my father until i was about 8 yrs old. Then i finally got to meet my real father. Little did i know my mother had gotten into some pretty hardcore drugs with the man i used to call my father. Finally they got dovorced that’s her 2nd divorce btw and she went completely crazy and shaved her head. me and my 2 sisters stayed with my grandmother while my mother went crazy i can still hear my mother screamin… finally my mother did go to rehab for 2years. DO you know how bad it hurts to have your mother tooken away from you for 2yrs? Not having her at Christmas or your birthday or to talk about girl things? That hurts so bad. She did come home and with a nother new husband her turned out to be a physco so yet again ANOTHER divorce. And then she was going out with this other guy named Ray and they broke up and he broke into her house and beat her. No she didn’t die but i was so worried because my father had died 2weeks earlier. He was drinkin one night passed out and drowned in his own throw up. But my Mother is fine and i think hes in Jail but his friends are out to get my mama. idk whhy i’m even telling this i just feel like writing out things. I guess i’m the way i am because of my parents. but i don’t want to be like them! I’m so much then that. even though i LOVE my parents! like i would be nothing without them but i can’t help the mistakes they’ve made.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptzzU7jFQwo This Song really helps me.
She looks in the mirrorÂ strokingÂ her hair
trying to cover the bruises as if they weren’t there
her locks of gold so beautiful
used to shine so bright
but her light slowly faded
into the dark sacred night
the bubble of Â happiness
she was broken beyond repair
constantlyÂ gaggingÂ needing more air
unable to survive all she does is cry
left alone in the world
who would care if Â she died
I don’t understand the person i have become anymore. I used to be so nice and so full of nothing but happiness. Now i just cry myself to sleep. Maybe it’s because my father died thisÂ SeptemberÂ of a tragic accident. But i don’t think that’s it completely. I feel so pushed away i have 2 sisters and they’re so perfect they all always have straight A’s…and then there is me… with F’s and D’s. I have so much anger and hurt on the inside i just want to scream HELP ME. but of course no one is there… I’m trying so hard not to break. I wanted to beÂ popularÂ SO bad. and i was..but now people just talk about me. I tweeted a tweet that said “I just wish mother nature could text me and tell me i’m not pregnant” and the next thing i know people think i’m pregnant. I just can’t take much more of anything. I quit trying to be perfect and trying to please everyone i honestly just want to die sometimes.