I’m about to be pushed out of my comfort zone. I’m about to be around people. A LOT of people. I’m not sure I like that. But, this may be good for me. I may not be able to play videogames for a while. I may not be able to just chill for a while. I may have to dress different. I may have to act differently. I am terrified. What if i don’t fit in? What if I’m not good enough? Or my current state of mind, what I’f I’m just not capable? I wonder. I’m about to make a big move. I’m about […]
I’m not sure what’s going on. I think this is how family acts? This is a concept so foreign to me. And I’m just realizing that. I’m out of my comfort zone. I will lose some privacy. Idk if that is good or bad. I will have to be surrounded by people. I may have to explain things to people. I may have to be voulnerable with people. And THAT is what I was trying to avoid. I don’t like telling people anything about me. ESPECIALLY anything about my mental illnesses, or my financial situation, or anything. But, i just realized, that’s what family does. […]
Somebody just visited me. They think where I live, the way I’m living, is, unacceptable.
They want to help me change for the better. But, i have no idea how to do that. I’ve tried so many times and I always fall short of success. I want to be a better person. But I’ve ruined my credit, gotten massive amounts of debt, and ruined my reputation. They think I’m stupid, slow, mentally challenged even because of the mistakes I make. Because I simply cannot remember important things. I really want this. I just don’t know if it will work out.
I can’t believe i got myself in […]
Hey man, What did you end up doing medication-wise? I’m rooting for you, but I couldn’t help but ask. I’d rather ask than hear we lost you. Also are you doing okay-ish?
Some people always have something negative to say. They also never add to you life. And they also do not care about you. Sometimes We think people wouldn’t abandon us at our lowest. That lady certainly did. All because I said something that is really not a big deal. Sometimes it is people who don’t owe us anything who step up to the plate and help us. While our own parents desert us. I am thankful for the people in my life who are helping me out right now. They owe me NOTHING. Yet they have given me a fighting chance in this cruel world. […]
I don’t like myself very much right now. Worst part is I have no idea how to change that. This is due to the things I don’t like about myself are things I don’t know or think I can’t change. I avoid social gatherings for this exact reason.
The things I don’t like about myself are that I am not very bright, I don’t remember much, so very forgetful, I am very clumsy with food so most of my clothes are stained, I’m very ditsy, I have no talent,
There is more, I just don’t remember it now. I think I don’t want to live this way. […]
NOTHING I want goes my way. NOTHING. It is as if if I want it life says NOPE!
Lately I play videogames in between getting stuff done. GUESS WHAT? My internet connection is now interrupted multiple times during a game of league. Even that doesn’t work out for me. I tried work, life said nope. I tried school, life said nope. I’m trying leisure and life again says NO. WHAT IS GONG ON? Why me? I can’t help but to thing there’s some hex on me or something. I am grateful for my blessings, BUT Why would life make me incapable of furthering them?
I just want […]
I’m so tired. People like doing things to me without consequence. Sometimes unintentionally. And I am no longer down for that. He said I don’t want a commitment if I’ll be far away. I said do as you please. But he has to realize, I will hold him accountable for that. And I will remember that. She said I’d be more comfortable living elsewhere. Which is fine for her to do, But, it is also fine for me to completely eliminate her from my life or simply stop talking to her. I basically had plans and she cancelled them. Which again its okay, it is […]
We had plans, and all it took was one question for you to try and destroy me. All you had to say was sorry that you feel that way but i don’t think that’s my fault. Instead you trauma dumped and then became irrational. Cancelling plans we’ve had for months all because I asked you I think too many people know about this trip.
How could you go as fast as to make me look stupid and involve other people in cancelling my plans. How DARE you make plans with money i don’t have? Telling me to move my trip because it’s only like 200 dollars? […]
Today I had to pay about a thousand dollars because in my idiocy I apparently forgot to update my auto insurance on my new account since my last one expired. I have no idea what I am going to do. I am so stupi9d it is not even funny. It is really sad to be me and see all my avoidable mistakes. I am so dumb I worry that there may be a neurological issue beyond ADHD and Schizophrenia. I say this because other people don’t make the mistakes I do. I just wonder you know?
I wonder If anyone else struggles with being just a […]
I don’t even know where to begin. Like I have mentioned before, I feel incompetent, I feel stupid, I feel dumb. and above that incapable of change. With that being said I am looking at avenues to change my life for the better. I’m tired of being this way. Tell me why there is nothing online to help people like me. On reddit people like me post the question of their incompetence with examples. But people just give blanket or what seems to me as irrelevant advice. For example someone will mention their poor memory, their incapability to learn, their manifold mistakes. The responses are […]
We talked about making it
I’m sorry that you never made it
I suck so much and I am so stupid it isn’t even funny! Now that I’m making moves to help my self she blocks me and puts ideas in my head to make me doubt things. She is so devious. I can’t believe she is blocking me like this. I failed college, I went crazy in my last job, I’m disabled because of it. I just can’t deal with this! I am so frustrated. I have no idea if I will ever make anything of my life. And that other asshole will never get it […]
I’m tired of complaining, i just want to be better. But i have no clue how to do that. By better I mean I want to win at videogames, i want to pass classes, I want to be smarter.
All I see in myself is a pity party. A poor lost idiot trying to make it in this cruel world. Someone who is perseverant yet incapable. Why must this be my present.
It feels like I’m never gonna be my ideal self. I have trouble learning, memorizing, thinking. I have trouble communicating and talking. I suck at videogames.
At first i wanted to just vent. But then i […]
Let’s peer into the menagerie i call myself. In this particular collection we find different unrelated items that come together and make it whole. We find debt and disabilities in the D section, apart and amicability both in the A section for some reason.
I feel kinda lost. I’m in a lot of debt, I failed school, I’m kinda dumb, and I just want to change. I don’t even play videogames well. And that kills me. Like child’s play isn’t for me, then WHAT IS!? I haven’t found what I’m good at. And idk if i ever will. I want to be better…
I feel so frustrated about having nothing to show for my age. I’m kind of a loser. Life was great at some point, but even then I was still a dumbass. It’s awful to be a dumb person incapable of following simple instructions and do simple things. I literally flunked out of college because I can’t grasp complex math. I didn’t even make it to calculus. I’m seeing people post pictures of people younger than me with degrees. And I’m just dumb schizophrenic and ADHD filled. I’m so frustrated it’s to the point where I kinda feel like giving up and no longer trying anything […]
I feel so stupid for thinking I was capable. For not moving sooner. For moving with that asshole who didn’t pay rent and still refuses to pay me back. I feel so dumb for getting in so much debt. But within me there’s peace. There’s hope, there’s positivity. I hope i make it out of this someday. I hope things get better for me. I hope i manage to actually pass classes and get a degree. I don’t know what i want to study, But I want that cardboard saying i did it. Sucks I’m kinda dumb due to mental illness. Sucks how depression and […]
I just wanted to be a scientist. That is all I wanted. But I don’t know if that will come true. It seems like life doesn’t want that to come into fruition. I’ve tried studying for it , but the math is so complicated I am not sure If I can do it. Maybe if I take one class at a time? I am getting older however, so I am not sure if I can take the liberty to do that. I feel like the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz. Except there is no wizard in sight. I love science. I really do. I am […]
This is me venting. I feel so tired. I slept all weekend and now I can’t focus. I think it’s hard to live with ADHD. I think it’s hard to live with schizophrenia. But both!? That’s just cruel. I feel so frustrated. I feel like I need to focus but I just can’t sometimes. And there’s people who just don’t get it and call me lazy. I hope to overcome this and make it in school. It’s all I have left.
Hi it’s me again venting.
I have no idea how I’m gonna make it in school. It is waaay to much stuff in too little time. I am not depressed but this is pushing me a little. I definitely want to succeed though. I feel like trading depression for schizophrenia was good. I can live now and I don’t constantly hurt. I am however scared that it may come back again someday. That is why I want to pass so bad. I don’t want to fail and get depressed. I hope you all are doing well. Then again none of us are here because our mental […]
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