i was getting good at being strong and i lost it. i dont know how much longer i can hold on. it all hurts and i want the pain to goaway
2 years clean and i finally broke down. Â My wrists have so many scars on them its….its funny…
I claimed insanity today..I cut my arms and laughed as the blood slowly came out. I threw my head back and laughed.
I dont cut deep enough to drip blood..just enough to leave a mark.
closed my eyes and keep picturing me as a little kid. running through the grass with my arms open wide my head held high…laughing
I posted my picture of my cuts because to me its a pretty picture..but no one else thinks so…their all mad at me and it just makes me cut more.
ask me why […]
Let me live again
Let me dream of how things were
Let life be my grass I walk on
Looking for a place to stay free
(You still did this to me)
Let me be the only thing I dream big dreams for
Let my heart grow strong against love
Where you could never last past the moment
That many men crushed me daily
(You were everything to me)
Ugh, let my hands gently lift my hair
Slowly pulling it back revealing my eye
Black and blue among other colors that leak through
But for some odd reason
I just canâ€™t let go
(Thereâ€™s never been happiness,
Nor real love […]
fourth grade and things didnt get better. People didnt really talk to me and if they did, they never had anything nice to say to me.I constantly got called names; Fatty, little miss piggy, worm (because i had my hair braided and they looked like little worms), four eyes, book worm, slob, ugly etc.Â I became very drawn back and I started to write poetry. My first poem was called no one cares about me. its a selfÂ explanatoryÂ poem.Â the names got to me. they weighted on my heart so much. I became bitter towards the world. I started to get a really bad attitude. I fought back […]
Growing up I was the happiest little kid possible. But I dont know if I was truly happy.
I was constantly lied to from the time I was born. Always told that I was Mexican and Black because thats what my mom said to me. So I told others that, I tried to fit in but then I found out the real truth in about 3rd grade. When my mom told me that I was really black and white Â I went and told my friends. Worst mistake of my life. I was in 3rd grade and labled as the biggest lier possible
Nothing made it better. […]
I feel like giving up. Every day I put on a false face and mask the real me just so people dont get to close. Im tired of being alone, im tried of being scared. But Im tired of getting hurt. Since I was little its been days and days of hurting. The names I get called. the names are the worst. and then they hit me and i laugh it off. everyone thinks im so happy. but my hearts a ticking bomb. im going to explode. and each night before i go to sleep. i cut just enough to feel the sting and see […]