Those who think their life matters and those who don’t. I’m not sure if one group is any happier than the other, though.
Counting Down the Years
Five years in a long-distance e-mail “relationship.” Have seen him twice in that time. Some of us are slow learners.
When I speak of my debilitating depression I make it sound like I’m just running to the store to grab a few items. Only on the rarest of occasions have people seen how crippled I am, even my closest friends. I have found that people who do not have chronic depression and suicidal thoughts cannot understand, even though they might want to. I just told the man I love that I’m taking a hiatus from the world for a little while and that I’ll be back. I did tell him I’ll be around if he needs me. If people really knew how deep, how all-encompassing, how […]
Usually, I await spring because there’ll be some relief, some hope, some optimism. This was the first year that spring arrived and that accompanying deep sigh and saying goodbye to the darkness of winter never came. The roses on my arbor bloomed, the honeysuckle is now out and I’m back to driving barefoot — but it’s merely pleasant, at best. My 15 year-old daughter told me the other day that I’m her best friend. I knew girls growing up whose mothers were their best friends. In my high school yearbook, people had under their photos “143 Mom and Dad!” 143 stands for “I love you.” […]
It’s been a while since I posted here. I’m in a bad place today. Just wanted to say hello. Thanks.
I had court today for my divorce proceedings. We reached an agreement whereby I will keep the house and my daughter will not be uprooted. I am willing to postpone my departure date of August 8 to see how things pan out.
How are you doing? We’re thinking about you.
How are you doing?
For the uninitiated, narcissism is a personality disorder that has (almost) nothing to do with vanity, as we commonly understand it. In a nutshell, “their behavior tends to be erratic, manipulative and centered around themselves. In some cases, a person suffering from this condition can become both physically and emotionally abusive…”
“Typically, those with this condition are unable to relate to the emotions of other people, and see any form of criticism as a personal attack. They may react with extreme rage or violence in these situations, or turn the words of their perceived attacker around to make themselves look like victims.”
A little background: my mother […]
My heart is breaking for my daughter. She has no idea how her world is about to change in a few weeks. Please pray for her.
I find out Thursday if I’m going to lose my house in the divorce. He has spent well over $100,000 of my money and jerks off to “Rape Galaxy,” yet is a very prominent person in the Jewish world. I’m not starting my life all over again at 50. He can have the house so my daughter can continue to be raised here. August 8 can’t come soon enough.
My mother was here a week or so ago for my kid’s bat mitzvah, as were my friends. She called today just to say, “hi,” something she never does. Hmm…must be that since she was a narcissistic **** all weekend which was noticed by all, she now has to do some damage control. Sorry, not going down THAT rabbit hole. Not this time. Fucking ****.
“I can be very cruel. I have been taught by masters.” — Catherine Sloper, as portrayed by Olivia DeHavilland in “The Heiress”
My kid’s bat mitzvah is Saturday. My mother called and asked if I had heard from her sister. My aunt is not well. She had a stroke a few years ago and suffers from chronic depression and rarely leaves the house. So I said, “No. But I didn’t expect to. She’s sick. I don’t take it personally.” My mother’s reply – a very measured, well-rehearsed, deliberately timed,Â “Uh huh.”Â That “uh huh” was not a nod of agreement. On the contrary. It wasÂ the statement of her rage that I didn’tÂ join her in slicing up her sister. It was notification that she doesn’t approve of my perspective — […]
My mother is a ****.
Weird is planning your kid’s bat mitzvah, studying for the bar exam, talking to your friends like everything’s fine, and making arrangements for your death all at the same time. When I first saw this house I said I would die here. It wasn’t what I meant at the time. but it turns out I was right, nonetheless.
Got a bus to catch on August 8.
Is it noteworthy when someone seeks out only those pornographic websitesÂ where women are being brutalized? I’m quite open-minded concerning other people’s sexual proclivities, but this one I can’t get past.
62 more days to go. I met my then-future husband inÂ the state where I grew up and was practicing law. His work took himÂ to another state and I accompanied him after we got married.Â I’ve been a stay at home mom all this time — 13 years.Â He makes a good living but he’s a compulsive debtor. IÂ kept us afloat with my inheritance — overÂ $100,000.Â We’re in the middle of a divorce and it looks likeÂ our house will have to be sold because I cannot get a mortgage in my own name due to my not having a two-year work history. Â I love my house and our daughter […]
I have had suicidal ideation since I was 9 or 10. I believe it is largely due to being raised by two people who pretty much daily let me know that I was unwanted and a tremendous burden.Â I hesitate to suck on a helium tank because I’m told that it would irreparably harm my 13 year-old daughter. I am 50 years old and cannotÂ grasp that I matter that much, never having meant anything to my parents except to be their emotional punching bag. Sometimes my empathy is crippling, but on this point I just don’t get it.