I am coming close to a breaking point. The emptiness, loneliness, self destruction, and unhappiness will not sit still inside me forever. It’s about to explode all over me. Doing school work is hard, I’m avoiding going to work, and I just want my boyfriend next to me all the time. Because with him I’m okay, everything is okay. But I love him too much to drag him down with me, and it’ll hurt him if I go. So what now? If I check myself in somewhere Ill send those who love me into a tizzy. If I let this continue they’re going to find me hanging from a tree. I need help, but I don’t have the time or energy. I don’t want to sacrifice my degree or my freedom. I knew moving out meant that my demons were going to be on my ass, but really? As soon as I’m alone for more than 30 minutes it starts. And I have shit to do, trust me. But it doesn’t get done. I stare into space, sleep, and randomly cry as my mind tries to tear itself apart. My comfort activities are becoming ineffective and I am magically confining myself to my room. My ability to function is fading and I don’t know what to do. I have no motivation or passion. For the first time in my life I’m not worried about how I’ll make it. I’m worried how the people around me will cope if I give up because I’m close.