Life is complete wast of time, a struggle for happiness. Most of the time I’m overwhelmed with anxiety and depression. I feel devoid of meaning or purpose. The emotions I feel boil down to a chemical reaction in my brain, even Love. Reality is subjective, we all experience this place as individuals, yet we claimer to relate to one another, to fit in, to belong. We’re all chasing something, in the grand scheme of things, human lives are so short, we exist for a mere fraction time, and for what? Death? The fact that we won’t suffer eternity?
I’m in my 30s and I really don’t want to deal with any of this anymore. My life has been a boring disaster, I have nothing to look forward. Everyday I push all the bad shit in my head to another place, its exhausting. I get better for a few months but then something will happen that’ll trigger me and remind I may never be happy, have a stable relationship, get married, move out or have kids. Without any of that what’s the point of waking up tommorow. Why bother? Even I succeed half way what’s the point of going through life alone? Going through life broken hearted. it’s all really sad, especially the fact that I’ll have too be the one to take my own life. I believe people who commit suicide want to live but they’ve simply been in too much pain for too long of time and they don’t see an end in sight.