I pushed someone I loved away from me. Someone beautiful who loved me back, loved me without hesitation. I acted terribly and I still don’t know why. It’s months and months later and I still haven’t gotten over it. I’ve run my friends ragged with this and I’m about out of options. I don’t WANT to kill myself but the pain of knowing it’s all my fault simply won’t leave. I see no other way out. I guess it’s what I deserve.