I went to the hospital to see if my thoughts for not existing are true and one thing i remember is a theripist there told us we are the ceo of ourselves so that means we can close up and shutdown when we want to and then i was helping someone to pay for rent and he got mad because i wasnt right in the head at the time and i kept fantasizing about putting my neck in the saw blade so i stopped to try to fix my head space (the stuff being cut wasnt needed for another month and it would only take an hour max) he told me its his business what happens and nobody elses so i thought my life is my business and nobody elses
Why is the idea of suicide looked down on. we now live in a world where people can choose to be whatever or whoever thay want to be. Why cant i choose to be dead . I might be wro g but it seems like we are only kept alive to work make people money and die. So its selfishness and greed that looks down on suicide.
Everyone thinks me not wanting to talk or see people is rude and selfish but its been the way ive been since birth i have always been antisocial and human touch has always been creepy and i feel like if i was truly selfish i would just be dead right now but im suffering thru life just to make them happy for another day
I have been wishing for death for a while now my body is braking down i do not feel emotions anymore and holding a job that i can enjoy just destroys my body evan more so its hate what i do or cant do what i want to do but if i just die i understand the pain i will leave behind but what about my pain of staying