i’m dying on the inside.
I know longer know what to do. I don’t know how i got the way that i am, but i feel as if i was born to die & now that feeling is grabbing me more than ever.
i’m in high school, but i haven’t gone to school in about a month. i just show up every once in a while, when i’m in there i feel like killing myself. but switching schools is no option for me.
my parents seem quite disappointed but they don’t understand that this is an ongoing battle i have dealt with for over 3 years. I almost choked myself right infront of my mom to show her how much pain i was in and how much i hated myself..i know it was quite selfish. i’ve never seen my family cry like this before, but they don’t understand that i need to be free and once i’m dead i’ll either be in God’s hands or the devils and they will no longer have the stress that i create them.
I’ve attempted suicide so many time but yet there’s always something holding me back, and i’m not even sure what.
please help me, i’m begging.
i get treated like shit most of the time, i do something nice than someone has to come along and ruin it all for me as if my time and work was nothing. i hate it, it makes me want to cry.
all my parents really talk about is the credits i might loose because of the amount of absences, but they don’t understand that i won’t even be alive to finish those courses. they’re unsure of what goes on in my mind, but it’s all killing me.
i dont know whether i should go with hanging myself, choking myself, or drinking nail polish since apparently it burns your organs and leaves you dead with a few hours.
i dont know what to do, please take me seriously. i’m tired of getting treated like this as if i’m a joke, even though i suppose i am.