My mood is seemingly leveling out after I cleared things up with a close one, and also simplified my life. I kinda closed the part of my life that concerned less than legal practices which did me wonders. I felt this impending sense of doom, like my life as I know and understand it could come to close. While a structured day with free meals and anal rape sounded lovely, what would I ever do without the internet? I still suffer from hyperhydrosis of the under-arms on a daily basis, which brings me enough tension to push me to the brink of suicide or total meltdown, but at least I have evaded the thought of total confinement.
Now all things considered, I still don’t have a grip on the person I want to be, but I honestly have no idea what that is. I just want to be comfortable financially and stable mentally. I want a couple friends I can count on, and control over my sweating. Sweating makes me feel like I am wearing a clown nose at all times. I mean within an 8 hour period, I will have sweat that spans from the mid section of my bicep past the arm pit to just above my rib cage. It causes so much mental anguish and physical discomfort that I will actually get ill, vomiting in the parking lot after a day at work. I’ve heard of plenty of treatments, prescription deodorants, botox, basically things that are either too expensive or just absolutely useless.
I feel like no matter what, I will never get a real grip on my sweating. My mood seems okay, but that will it is heavily mitigated by rate at which I annihilate a t-shirt. Makes me feel like I can’t wear nice clothes. I feel like I relinquish normal human liberties, and just settle for less. I feel like I will never have a positive self concept because of it, and most of all, I feel like I can never be confident in myself.
Lastly, and completely off topic, anyone heard from that old chap KSO? That’s right Killswitchon!! Let me know, that guy had moxie!