I can’t stop obsessing over severely hurting myself. All day, everyday. It won’t go away. I’m having trouble falling asleep because I can’t stop thinking about it. I WANT to do it. I’m losing my mind. I’m so angry because these thoughts won’t go away. Other thoughts as well. I want to start throwing and smashing things in the rage I feel over this. I want to seek out a fight just to release this rage I feel about these obsessions. GET. THE. F$#K. OUT!!!!!
forawhile
After many long years of suffering and every single option thought out, I finally am at a complete stand still. There is no other option.
So now I just prepare. I want to make things as easy on my family as possible. I plan on going to my bank today to fill out a payable upon death beneficiary form so they avoid probate court. I’ve been cleaning my apt and will be getting rid of all the unnecessary items my family won’t have use for. I am waiting for my W2 to be available to file for that so the money will automatically go into my […]
I feel like I need to vomit.
I’ve been getting that feeling more and more frequently. It makes me literally sick to my stomach to think about going on another day.
Even my usual cutting has no effect on me anymore.
I’ve been looking up the different pills I have and information about overdosing on them. I’ve also run through all other ideas of committing suicide. I’m ready to call it quits.
Yet I’m still here….
My two kitties need me. They depend on me. I could never abandon them. So how do I survive? How do I keep living each day for them?
I don’t know how to make it through tomorrow.
In the last twelve years my cats have saved my life numerous times when I couldn’t handle it anymore. They are the sole reason I live. They need me and I could never abandon them.
Just over a week ago my oldest baby passed away and I haven’t stopped crying since. I still have two babies who need me very much which is the reason I’m still here typing these words, but I don’t know how to do it.
I don’t care about anything anymore. I don’t care about work, I don’t care about school, I don’t care about […]