You dont want to live, but you dont want to die. You dont want to talk to anyone, but you feel lonely. You wake up in the morning and simply wait for night to come.
CN1
I want to die. Just turn off and be no more.
Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.
So, here I’am again at this point.
What next…another attempt at an overdose….. first attempt was horrible. Dont think I’m going down that route again.
I’m totally screwed….cant someone just hit my off switch.
My deepest intimacies are shared with the blank page on my computer screen. I confide in it things I keep from everyone else, no matter who.
Suicide is an addiction. Once you’ve tried it. It is always in the back of your mind. Every day it is another option you can put on a to do list. As if you quit smoking and crave it every day but you just don’t fire one up even if you desire it so much.
When tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand. That an angle
came and called my name, and took
me by the hand; The angle said my
place was ready, In heaven far above,
and that I had to leave behind all
those I dearly love. But when I walked
through heaven’s gates, I felt so much
at home, for God looked down, smiled
at me, and told me “Welcome Home.”
So, when tomorrow starts without me.
don’t think were far apart, for every
time you think of me, I’m right
there in your heart.