in my world of thoughts im i afraid for myself. Im getting closer to the notion that i would be better off gone. But the debacle that i cant solve is the not knowing of the pleasure of it being over if there is nothing afterwards.
Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence
“Fools, ” said I, “You do not know
Silence, like a cancer, grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you”
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells, of silence
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, “The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls”
And whispered in the sounds of silence
I was being prepared for surgery and while in post op getting prepped with the IV’s I silently prey, hope, ask for, beg, to simply go to sleep and not awaken. I just want this to stop, be over, no more, kaput. I simply give up. My only debacle that haunts me is that when that “no more” is true I wont know the joy of this being over. So be it. Off please. I just cant get a grip anymore. I give up and i’m done.
I just dont want to
i realized its over