Usually I’m just smokeing a cigarette on a balcony, just me and a little red flame slowly running out… Reading some of the life storries here on the forum, but today I decided to blow off my mind here.
Right now I’m feeling like the whole univers is picking on me. Every time something “good” happens in my misarable life it soon backfires.
I was never some angry guy, I’m usually just depressed especialy in the morning (I’m really having problems getting out of bed) I’m always thinking of all the fails in my life, but once I get out of bed it gets better, usually at work when I don’t have time to think about anything else. But today I was walking home from a train station and there were three guys talking about how fucked up their life is becous their girlfriend doesn’t text them back or becouse their parents doesn’t let them be somewhere else and bullshit like that. And then it hited me. Why the fuck do I have to go through all this bullshit, why can’t I just be happy and fucking normal person? Why do I have to deal with depression, unfaithful girlfriends, friends who doesn’t care, parents who treats me like I’m not even their own family, deaths of good friends and even my dog who was the only one who really liked me. Sometimes it just feels like I’m alone… Sometimes I just want to pack my bags and just travel to some foreign country… Sometimes I just want to end this but in the end I’m always getting to the same conclusion… I’m a covard!
I just want to see the world burns sometimes…