I have this rising urge to kill myself. I have a BA in English, I have a job, I’m in good health, I have friends, I come from money, and I have a loving family, so why do I want to kill myself? Good question. Lately when I let my mind wander my thoughts often turn to the concept of impressions. We all come across a certain way to people which means we all have unique character traits. It seems to me that my only character trait is that I am unlikeable. No matter what I do, and no matter how hard I try, people always seem to act as if I had two heads or something. Without the ability to be like the world is a very alien place.
I want some direct kindness! If I don’t get some direct kindness I might kill myself! I don’t know what to do anymore, I keep trying and trying and trying, but no one is ever nice to me! Even my friends are only in my life because they just want someone to massage their egos all day, they don’t actually want to be my friend. I’m lost, I’m stuck, I’m out of control. What do I do!?