I woke up this morning and for a moment…I wasn’t me.
Gone were the aches and pains that have become my constant companions
Gone were the darkened eyes and swollen lids from another restless night
Gone were the fine lines that paint the backs of my hands and make them look like paper
Gone were the plump fingers and the brittle nails that, thankfully, still dance gracefully across the keyboard.
Gone were the carnivorous grey hairs that devoured the brown they once mingled with so innocently
Gone were the early morning fatigue brought on by the sleep-induced exhaustion
Gone were the overwhelming need for solitude and silence
Gone were the cobwebs and the brain fog that make coherent sentences impossible at first light
What remained was a woman I almost recognized…a woman I forgot existed
The woman who used to dance all night with her arms raised high and her eyes closed
The woman who used to stand in a crowd admiring the beauty of the world as it blurred around her
The woman who could be swept away by Picasso’s swirls and the dots of Seurat
The woman who once made love in the rain and let the mud clean her soul
The woman who sang at the top her lungs not caring she cracked crystal
The woman who laughed like an angel but howled like a devil
And the woman who used to write…oh god how she would write!
Then slowly the aches and pains made the dancing memories stop
The puffy eyes made the world grow dim and hard to see
The fine lines, the brittle nails painted my hands more detailed than Seurat
The dyed grey hair swallowed the rich brown swirls, making them dull and lifeless
The waking fatigue meant there would be no making love in the rain on this day
The need for solitude meant the world would be spared the song that burned to escape my lungs
Then cobwebs and brain fog engulfed me once more, making it hard to focus…
…what was I saying?
…why can’t I concentrate?
…I must’ve been dreaming.
…something I can’t remember.
…but if I think hard enough
…really, really think
…maybe someday it will come back to me?
Maybe someday SHE will come back to me.
I woke up this morning and for a moment
…just a moment…
I was me.