Sometimes it feels like all hope is lost, like there is no reason for me to continue thinking or trying or breathing and the self hatred gets even more overwhelming and I just want to scream and cry and tear myself apart (literally) I have goals I just have no motivation to achieve them anymore because I don’t see the point, I don’t see why I shouldn’t just end it now and end my pain, I have no one, and everyone just discourages and belittles me and I’m tired of pain
the weather here has been such shit lately and that onto of everything else has thrown my mood down so much, I wish I had someone to talk to, to distract me from the mess that is my life, even if just for a night
I continuously wonder what I did wrong to deserve all of this pain. I’m so sorry for whatever it is, I pray to god (not literally, I’m not religious) that one day I’ll have been through all of the pain I can and will finally be happy, something I’ve never gotten, if this emotional, mental and somewhat physical suffering doesn’t kill me first.
I’m so alone, and it’s one of the most painful things to know that I will probably always be alone. It just hurts.