I feel like life is one long ass horrible ass nightmare. And if i die I’ll wake the fuck up.
- It sucks seeing ppl around you so happy. Its killing me. My bestfriend just had her second baby. She has a beautiful family. And i got depression and newly found bpd. I keep saying i want to get help. I need help. Help realizing that its okay that life sucks..but do i really want to be just okay?? No i dont. I want something that i can never have and im stupid for putting myself through shit when theres a way out. I dont want to fight anymore. All i do is drink till i pass out. I dont eat barely sleep. Im sick. I get so mad like why me why fuckn me. But i cant change anything. Everthings in the air at this point. I want to die. And i will. Thats my happiness.
Today im telling my sister that i need help. Im 22 all my life i thought shit would be okay but its not. Mu battle with depression has caused lots of cuts covering my arms and legs and 3 suicide attempts. Im losing. Medicine just didnt cut it. Life always seem to fuck me over in new ways. Nothingd never okay. So this is my last stand. Hopefully i can get the help i need. Wish me luck.
I love her. I wish things didnt turn out this way..but maybe its for the best. We wouldnt have learned about ourselves grew from our mistakes. Maybe one day things will be okay. I can have my love returned.
Im freakn losing it… Again
My mind is shot.. I cant deal
I just dont want to live anymore
Fingers crossed ?
Tired lonely and sad
I let the cold comfort me
I hope i never wake up
Im officially dead inside. Walked to the bridge and wanted to jump. I walked to the train tracks and thought the same thing. Im suicidal again and that makes it harder to fuckn deal with being depressed i cant wait to kill myself. To be free of all this pain. Now i have to cut so i can chill out enough to sleep.. I hope i never wake up
How do you wait so long for something that should already be??
How do you take a break from waiting??
Im only waiting on my heart to break.
So maybe i wont feel so tired of waiting.
Today i woke up from a horrible dream. To stay up to cry about the baby i lost. And now 3 years later i look over to the one that saved me from ending it all with her relentless love and dedication but as fast as it came it left. It kills me when you give up your life to move across state to make their family yours its depressing when your treated like shit by the person your even here for in the first place. Its fucked up how people lie and deceive you over and over like have you any remorse?? I dont want to spend thanksgiving with her family id rather be alone since im miles away from my own.
Happy thanksgiving ppl.!!
How dare you choose liqour over me.!! How can you laugh and carry on while i cut and cry. Hundreds of miles away from home. No love there either. I find myself in a invisible hole my little suicidal hell hole. I never thought i would reach out to people i dont know but i need help somthing that a doctor or psychiatrist cant give me right now i need someone that understands how it feels to be blatantly fucked over by the ones you love. Just need advice to stay strong.
I could say that im stuck between moving back home and stay here and going to a shelter but im not. I don’t want to run back home after you hurt me for the millionth time…again i believed your lies at first. Then i knew they where lies but hoped maybe its not a lie this time. You say we can work it out but you cause me pain.. I dont hurt you.. If we switched roles.. If i lied throughout our whole relationship..maybe you would understand. Being with you adding more things to the list that triggers my ptsd. I hate myself for loving u. If we never met i would be dead and happy already. I really dont care whats after life. I just want my body to be sent home to be cremated. Im mentally checking out. I dont wanna feel anymore.
I wanna kill myself tonight , i wanna slip away from sadness. Be forever done with feeling like the room is getting small the air getting thicker and theres more room on the floor i can breath better. But i cant freak out in front of them. So i hold it in. Im dead inside i dont want to feel anymore.
I need words of wisdom help anything before it becomes a murder suicide in this *****. Im so mad im calm my right arm is gettn numb anyone please help
I thought I was done with this site. Here i am though and its truly been a while. I don’t know what to do. I tried to kill myself when i was at home with my parents i thought that i would move back with my gf and shit would get better. That i could finally be happy and have a family of my own filled with the love i always wanted but since i got here its been nothing but abuse and disrespect. There’s no love anymore and that sucks but i need to stop being stupid and face death like who wants to suffer on there death bed its like pull the fuckn plug already.!!
Yup that my life at the moment:(
That moment that held me back wont happen again. Im smarter now i know that happiness aint meant for me neither is love or respect i am better off dead my battle is over and that makes me happy I hope everyone finds happiness in life i just couldn’t get it here
Life for me it just a reset. Nothing is What it seems happiness is a temporary lie so why indulge.?? Because you want it so bad.. But once you get a taste its taken away from you and your left more broken than before. You just find ways to cope with life until it kills you or you end the suffering and do it yourself
That worthless feeling the knowing that its true. I can’t help but to feel so dumb for holding on to hope I should have went through with it. I should have known that it was too good to be true. Now I’m past depressed and I’m filled with so much hate I cant fucking deal with myself.. They say live life with no regrets but it still living life that I regret ????
Every since I found this site it was like a breath of fresh air.. I was finally able to say what was on my mind without scaring people away lol And I would read other peoples post and think did they actually go through with it.?? I really appreciate everyone that commented with words or encouragement and understanding. But its my time. This will be my last post I give up. I’m tired and this time ima make sure I succeed I wish everyone luck in life