I feel completely and utterly worthless and pathetic. Everyone has different expectations of what they want me to be. My friends what something, my parents want something, everybody just expects so much from me.
I’m only one person.
I fail everyone I care about and feelings of hate and depression have been welling up in me for about 5 or 6 years now.
It won’t take much to push me over the edge, I’ve had enough of this shit. Fuck everyone’s expectations, fuck what everyone thinks of me, I’m just tired. I want everything to be over.
Everyone tells me that this feeling will fade with time. I’ve waited and waited and waited and it has gotten exponentially worse. I hate everything and everyone. I didn’t get to live the life I wanted to live and that always haunts me. I’ve always wanted to have a normal life but my circumstances made that impossible.
When I die I want everyone to know I died cursing this unfair, unjust world and all the people in it. And my death won’t mean a thing. I’ll give people 2 weeks max and they’ll forget me.