I am not sure what is going on in my head.
I made the decision to live about a week ago.Â After I told my friend about wanting to die in nature and beauty, on the hillside, I could physically feel the pain that my words caused him.Â
But we had a fight last night, which got me thinking that way again.Â I’ve joined a pro-suicide forum, and working out the details of my plan has brought some comfort.
But I don’t want to hurt anyone.Â I want to slip away, so that I’m not close to anyone when I make the decision.
At the same time, I want to walk away from the negative thoughts.Â I might be strong enough.Â I might still be able to creat a life for myself.
Not sure which way to go.