It’s been a year since my last attempt, i thought i would eventually forget about it if i kept my mind on other things, no matter how happy i felt there’s something that isn’t right. Being happy just felt so wrong, i don’t even feel sad, im just.. tired? I can’t even afford to feel sad when someone dies, it just makes feel jealous.
Well it seems that depression really is a *****, it’s been a year and it still wont leave me alone, maybe it’s because of my surroundings? Maybe im just entirely unlucky, perhaps im just ungrateful. I probably lost something last year that made me feel numb. I always carry a small bottle of rat poison with me wherever i go, sometimes i feel curious thinking to myself “maybe i should just do it?”… But in the end my corpse would just bother everyone.
Hopefully i got stabbed by some random guy so i wouldn’t be a victim to fucking suicide.