icantevenfindaname

well i kinda fucked up my whole life, just turned 18 in April, and i have no hope of living my parents love me to bits but i have given them enough pain to and made them cry so many times that i am a disgrace to this world. my whole family praises my sister and my cousins who are extremely smart and doing well in life though they have smaller problems they have never let down their parents but i just can’t get out of it, i fucked up in school got terrible grades, and now i fucked up in uni by getting terrible grades, my parents will hate me forever if i tell them how i did in my uni because my dad worked so hard so fucking hard to send me here. he send me any money he has so that i can stay happy and i can’t see that anymore. He is wasting his money on me which he can use on my sister and help her out. honestly no one ever liked me in my whole life other than my parents, i think everybody just calls me a disgrace, my friends are not real and are with me cause i have money, in my highschool no girl ever dated me, cause IDK i am just ugly as fuck i think. i am not at all smart my brain is trash i can’t do shit and all i do all day is waste money and play games. my parents tried very hard to fix me and teach me but i am a stubborn ************ and i can’t see them cry anymore. i just ordered tylenol and kirkland signature sleep and going to pick up some aspirin and advil from Walmart and take all the pills on 7th every bit of them maybe with alcohol but i don’t like it much. i failed my year, my university, my driving license, my life basically and my parents the most. i love them to bits but i can’t go back home on may 16 and show them my ashamed and disgraced face. maybe i wasn’t made for this life. Pce