The world must hate me. it wont let me die. i wait every day to die but some act. i got into a crash going 75, and am perfectly fine. i cut deep after taking blood thinners, i do stupid shit so i have a chance to fuck up and die. but the world wont let me die
in_the-end fluffy dies
i just took 70-80 ibuprofen. so bye
So this is how i see it. my home life sucks and wont get better cause my dad wont see a therapist or admit hes depressed, my grades are tanking cause i don’t care anymore, i totaled my car last Sunday, and I think I drove my girlfriend away. All my teachers don’t expect much and its not like i would expect anyone to expect anything from me. I’ve been thinking about suicide for a while now and I’ve decided. It’s quick, easy, and after I wont have to deal with anything, no school, no home, no relationships, no pain, nothing. it all goes away. […]
It’s broken
Are you happy?
I can’t get another
I’m not that strong
We went from love
To disregard
What’s next?
Hate?
Distrust?
Or is it us splitting
And my death coming soon after?
Is it us working this out and facing my demons?
Or you watching me destroy myself with a look of nonchalant?
Do you even know how it happened?
Me neither
But after the wreck of my life
Joining up with my thoughts
Why doesn’t matter
All that matters is how
How to end it
How to forget it
How to leave
How to not go crazy
How but again we have no answer
Let’s play a game
Where you pretend to care
But don’t see my hurt
And where I act like you not caring
Doesn’t hurt me at all
Where all my pain is hidden
And you just can’t seem to find it
Let’s play a game
Where I wait for you to give up
And you don’t give the help I need
Where every day I’m screaming just for you to save me
But you don’t hear me
Where you don’t come to my side
As I’m weakening to the thoughts
Let’s play a game
My bodies the canvas
My eyes hold my paint
All the pain is too much for me
And her love is fading with the stars in the morning
The razors still sharp enough
The fire hot enough
The pills will hold the focus of death
The alcohol holds the wish for release
Together they herald death
Apart they mock it
Life can be long
Or end short
But the constant is it ends
And I decide when
And right now as your scream
I contemplate when I’ll go
You think I’m fine
But after tonight
No one will think of me
i dont have it too bad. my parents care about me, i have a girlfriend who i get along with, and a friend who i do lots of stuff with. tho recently me and my girlfriend seem to be growing apart, and shes the only reason i still live, and i totaled my car yesterday. for a while the thoughts went away but now, i have a suicide kit ready, that involves alcohol, a razer blade and around 70 ibuprofen. if i get to get some i may also get a lighter, a fresh razer and sleeping pills. but why do i still want to […]