Goodbye my life, for you will never be missed by me! I cant hold on much longer, i cant be strong anymore! I need to give up, I need to say my goodbyes and say I love you to all! Some people where there for me and other where not but no one ever stayed with me! They got what they wanted and left… people say keep going but I cant! there is nothing left of me, I need to get out of here! I am weak….. and I am done! love you all <3
It has come to the point where I am about to give up! no one loves me or needs me! The one person I actually loved and thought loved me and cared, just leaves me 🙁 I was never meant to be here! never meant to live! I cant handle life anymore! It is bad enough! Being diagnosed with 2 types of cancer in 2 months and my half sister has cancer! I have no point in staying here, there is no reason to live through all this pain! My heart feels like it was punched and now its hurt, bleeding, and in pain in the bottom of my stomach! When I look at my self I see a girl that is depressed, hurt, lost, confused!
ONE day I wont be here. ONE day when you have a problem you wont be able to call me to ask for help. ONE day when you want to send me a message I wont recieve it. ONE day when I am not here I wont be able to tell you that I love you so much and I cherish every moment I have with you. Never regret anything! Regret the things we didnt have a chance to do because it was to late! DONT DO THE STUPID MISTAKES I DID or DO</3
I really don’t know how much longer I can do this!!! I am on the edge of falling down and leaving this planet!! No one would f**** care!!! No one has ever cared, they will never notice me gone cuz they don’t notice me now!!! I can’t believe anyone now! I have lost trust in everyone!! I don’t know where to go now! I have tried everything but yet to actually commit suicide! And it’s very close at this point! My family thinks I have a secret life! My so friends r mad at me for no reason! I feel lonely everyday, depressed everyday! I want this pain to go away! I want everything to go away! I want my life to be gone! :((((
Most of the times I feel like I say the wrong things at the wrong time and cause more problems in my life! I feel like I can’t do anything right! I have to pretend I am happy most of the times! I don’t wanna pretend anymore! I have almost commited suicide 4 times already :/ every time I try either a friend runs in and stops me or a thought of a loved one! I don’t wanna go through hell anymore 🙁 so many terrible things have happened in my life! I can’t take it anymore! I don’t know how much longer I can pretend and think nothing ever happened! I don’t know the person inside or out of me anymore! I lay and cry just thinking of all that has happened! And so far I have thought maybe it will get better! Ya every damn day gets worse and worse! I don’t know what to do anymore! I am lost! I wanna run away and never come back! No one will care if I am gone! I wanna go in a ditch and die :(((((
Why do I still try? Everything I do is wrong, nothing is right! I hate my life, everyday I think god why am I still here! I would rather give my life to someone who deserves it, not me! I try following what my heart wants, I try thinking happy thoughts! That doesnt work :/ Why should I keep trying, no one cares about me! I think to my self, why was I ever born, why must I live the life I live! where I am depressed! Only one person makes me feel like I am special! He loves me and I love him! Sometimes I sit and think, why must I keep this life going on, if I just keep getting hurt by people, keep being bullied, losing bros and sis, losing me and who I was before! I dont know who I am now because all I see when I look in the mirror is a no one! I am nothing in this world, never was and never will be! </33