Will someone in this world please find me attractive. Â My other friends have had at least one girlfriend. Â But me? No. Â I have never had the validation of being attractive. Â For all I know I’m nothing but a hideous freak. Â Well maybe I am, I might be a freak, I might be the ugliest monster in the entire fucking world, but I’m a nice monster, I want to have a girlfriend who I can tell she’s pretty. I want a girl who I can treat like a queen, but instead all I get is a tear soaked pillow. Â I wish someone would tell me I’m […]
isanyonethere
My depression is turning to anger pretty fucking quick. Â My parents weren’t home last Friday night, so I spent my time screaming and lashing my arms with my belt. Â School is almost out for the summer, and I’ve just been hoping someone would fuck with with me so I could just beat the shit out of them. Â I just want to punch them, strangle them, and beat them within an inch of their life. Â Depression is getting boring, so this is some sort of relief.
I’m a piece of shit freak and nothing but that, so why get depressed and cry like a pathetic little bastard. […]
My emotional pain is turning unintentionally physical.  When ever I think about how lonely I am, or about the girls I have crushes on, this short burst of pain flows through my bloodstream to my heart.  It happens like this.
“I wish she would like me”
+Shot of pain+
Nothing
“I wish someone loved me”
+Shot of pain+
Nothing
It doesn’t continue or happen long term, its just a quick burst after a sad thought. Â I haven’t self harmed but now I can’t help it.
I need medicine, a medicine called love, affection, human need.
I don’t care anymore, theres nowhere I can go and be happy, I go to school and I’m miserable because someone is going to either fuck with me or be mad at me sometime during the day, I come home and I’m miserable because my parents scream and fight all day. Â I can’t be happy anymore, no matter how much I try. Â Every time I am happy for a second it just turns into anger.
Earlier today I was listening to the song First Date by Blink 182 and daydreaming about going on a date with this girl I have a crush on, but then I […]
I started praying about a month and a half ago. Since then everything has been getting worse. I asked to help this girl on this website that I had been talking to. Her username was Littlemissnobody. Well apparently she’s gone now. I asked him to help me but everything has just been getting worse and worse since I started praying. Does God hate me?
I recall about four months ago when I went to one of my friends birthday party. Another friend had brought his girlfriend and they were so happy all night. Then he gave her a kis and the sound of it was the sweetest thing I ever heard and later that night I just completely broke down in my room and cried so hard, because he doesn’t deserve it. He always takes girlfriends for granted, hes cheated on one or two and he broke up with this one, after like 5 months. I don’t understand why he keeps getting girls and I, no matter how much […]
I live in a small town, less than 1400 people. I have no girlfriend and there aren’t many (about three) girls at school who might consider me out of sheer pity, but they all have boyfriends. But if they didn’t why would they want me anyway. They are all pretty and I am a pathetic ugly little monster. I have no opportunity to make things better. I guess I have to wait 2 1/2 more years until college, but things would be uncertain there too. I doubt I’ll even have the strength to continue that long. I’ve been waiting for happiness since I was born, […]
I am a clown. I am only here for others to laugh at. I am fat. Like the clown I enjoy my face to be hidden so its ugliness does not have to be seen. The clown is never thought of as romantic or loving, but sad and pathetic. No one cares. I am replaceable. I am everybody’s freak. If I am not a clumsy, pathetic, piece of self loathing scum then people care even less.
My friend was going somewhere this weekend (Saturday) but I had to pass because I didn’t have any money to pay for my food or movie ticket or anything. I was going to go to his house but when I went to get dropped off he wasn’t there yet and my dad got pissed and didn’t want to take me back if he got back, a four minute drive away. Now if I don’t see him tomorrow then I wont see him for the rest of the week because hes leaving for spring break. And my other two friends are busy all week, but probably wouldn’t […]
I just got an account here and I suppose I’d like to say why I’m here. I feel like everyone hates me. My parents haven’t gone a day without fighting in 13 years. I only have one really good friend, and he plans on moving. The rest of my friends have planned to basically abandon me after he leaves. Also, the one thing that culd make this all better would be a girlfriend, but I don’t have one, and never have. I’m almost sixteen years old and no girl has ever shown even remote interest in me. I […]