Sometimes I don’t really want to die. I just want to not exist for a while….
I don’t even know you Clipped wings. But I’ve seen you’re recent posts and i don’t even know if you’re still alive to read this, but I care about you. I know that sounds weird because I’m a total stranger but I really do care about you. You’ve been so encouraging and sweet to everyone on this site including me and I don’t want to see you go. You don’t deserve death. And I know you’re thinking that life right now is a fate worse than death and I think that too a lot of times but you were put on this earth for a real reason. You have a real reason to live. And idk what that reason is but if the reason for you to live wasn’t a good reason, you would’ve never been born. Please don’t go. This world needs people like you. The world is a better place because you’re in it.
I feel so useless. I have no purpose. Not sure how much longer I can last.
This is one of poems I’ve written: When the breakdown is over
The worst part about a breakdown is when it’s over
For a few minutes that feel like years
You just sit there, with your bloodshot eyes and your tear stained face…
Everything around you is quiet
And you’re sad; you’re so so sad
Yet everything is numb
Everything is empty
You look straight ahead into the nothingness that you are
Then… you think back to what happened a few minutes ago
And you wish you could go back in time
Just so that you could comfort your own self
So that you could give yourself a hug, because no one else would
So that you could tell yourself that you’re ok
When in reality you’re not and deep down…
you’re terribly terribly alone
I don’t know if anyone can relate or even understand what I’m saying in this but I just wanted to post this because writing poems like this really help.
I would be so grateful if anyone could comment something nice right now. I just need to hear some nice words. Please, I just need someone to say something nice to me.
People always tell me to talk to people about my problems. Almost every person I know will at some point say “Hey if you ever need someone to talk to you can just talk to me.” They tell me to talk, then when I do they don’t listen. I’ll have moments in my life when I feel like my head will explode and so I’ll sometimes unload everything I’m thinking to someone. Some will be very worried and concerned… for at most a few days. Then they assume that I was just having a bad day that day and assume that everything I said that day wasn’t serious and it’s like that big moment never happened. I don’t even have to put on a fake smile anymore and I don’t even have to try not to cry in front of people anymore. Because they’ll just forget it ever happened in a few days.