I feel so bad, people go through what i do every day and still manage to be fine and healthy individuals, why can’t I cope as well as them?
6 months ago i met the girl of my dreams. She was everything I ever wanted, and could ever want. She was smart, beautiful, politically aware, and even had the same interest in music i had. We dated and broke up, but everything was ok then, i tryed to move on. Cut to 4 months later when we started talking again, but this time our relationship got a lot closer than when we were dating. We would talk every day and were practically inseparable. Every once and a while we would hit a bump but usually it was nothing too big to deal with. Until one day at a party i saw her with another guy doing sexual things. I flipped the hell out and started freaking out harder than i ever have before and just left the party. On the walk home i found an empty beer bottle, smashed it and slashed up my arms pretty badly. I climbed through my window to avoid my family seeing the bloodshed and cleaned up. Ever since then all i can think about is finally just slashing my wrists once and for all to just end it. It feels like a vain or petty reason to want to commit suicide, but i can’t help but thinking ill never meet a girl this unique in my life again, so it isn’t worth living.