I thought time was supposed to heal wounds. After two years my wound has festered and become infected. The poison seeps through my veins, into my heart, and then to my brains. What a wretched, vile and putrescent Â sickness that has overcome me. It seems time will only make it stronger
There is someone new in my mirror, and I should say, this new someone is quite repulsive. I try to seperate myself from this creature, but he just smiles at my attempts andÂ whispers, “the creature lives.”Â Â Â ………………………………………………………. how odd
The universe finally gave me a way out; a small vile full of insulin. Just a few more weeks, and I will finally get some sleep
Fuck it then
Someone please help me! I need help please!
Today I fell to my knees and cried out for help, and of course, there was no one to answer. My chest hurts; it feels bottomless. Oh how I mourn the past. This void envelopes me. Tears stream forth from my eyes. They fill my cup, andÂ I consume the great sadness.
We are the misfit toys, and this site is our Island of Misfit Toys. Maybe we can find the right tools here. Maybe we can find the right connections, or maybe we are kidding ourselves. I was too scared to go to work sober today. I am too scared to do anything sober really. I have to escape. The reality of it all is just a little more than I can bare. I hate feeling that way… helpless. How did I let this happen? I was always so careful.
At first I could never sleep. Now I only want to sleep. My eyes are always so heavy. My body isÂ always exhausted. I have notÂ said a single word to anyone in a few days. In fact, I deactivated my phone and Facebook account. Talking to others was becoming too gruesome for me. The plight of listening to the clueless was more than I could bare.
Im like cat here.Â A no-name slob. We belong to nobody, and nobody belongs to us.Â We dont even belong to each other. – Audrey Hepburn-Breakfast at Tiffanys
I am not a cutter. I have never been suicidal. Life has always been about accomplishing the mission… but now there is her, or should I say and then there was her? Oh how I loved her. She wasÂ my great muse… my great love. After she left I fell into a bottle. The mission of my life quickly became this: Get fucked up and forget. The downward spiral has lasted about 8 months now. I am addicted to alcohol, drugs, and sex. The weight of my sins grows heavy on my shoulders. My legs are bowed, and my back is tired. Something has to give…