Someone please give me coals to burn, tape to be sure it stays within my room. If covid wasn’t here I would have done it months ago and succeeded. There’s just too many people in this house.
kill_me
I want to hold a baseball bat and just start breaking things. I want to throw whatever my hands reach, I want to hear glass breaking on the floor. I want to scream so loud.
There’s too much anger in me and nothing google says works. Articles just say to redirect your anger do other stuff, just breathe and relax. That’s bs it doesn’t work at all. I don’t think it works that way.
I am mad at my dad for not paying for my bills. He doesn’t care if I die even if this brain tumor gets worse until it kills me. I am […]
My cousin aka my rapist just got engaged. There are posts all over fb from him and my relatives. I texted him. I congratulated him on the first sentence. Then I told him I still remember everything. He said he was young and stupid. He’s regretting it and everyday he prays to God to forgive him and give the strength to apologize to me. How can I forgive him when he raped me so violently?
I begged and begged but he didn’t listen, he still raped me. I have DID and because of that I got three more alters. How can I just forgive him […]
For the past week I had symptoms of covid. Fever, cough, loss of taste. I tested positive then a day after it got hard to breathe. Hospitals won’t accept me because they said I look fine, not even pale or anything and because I am only 20 yrs old. Even if I tested positive I wouldn’t die, it’s not that dangerous for me. And that’s all bs. My sister and I had no choice but to go where my dad is admitted.
When they checked, my oxygen levels were already low. I was already in state of confusion though I don’t look like it. That […]
Death, take me
Sometimes I wish you could be me so you can take all the pain away.
They don’t tell me things. But my dad got pneumonia and he’s in the hospital. Before he agreed to be brought to the hospital he looked like he’s dying and his symptoms are similar to symptoms of covid. The chances of him having it is high.
I’m surprised at me for not caring at all. He might die but he’s just like that random relative I see in birthday parties.
They don’t tell me. But if he really got covid the possibility of me getting it is also high since my mom and I took turns caring for him. I have untreated thyroid issues and […]
I was an accident. A daughter that was never planned. Why did they go through it? Why didn’t they just abort me when they’ll never treat me equally? Why disturb the unborn?
I failed.. I’ve accepted my death but it didn’t work. At this point I just want to have access to N. I want a peaceful end, let me have one please?
Postal service are you still here? I’m going soon.. i’ll probably do ctb this night or tomorrow morning. Goodbye, my friend.
postal service are you still here?
Goodbye, for now.
I am going for therapy after lockdown. I told some things to my brother and sister, that someone already touched me, I’m not clean anymore. I never went through the details, not about the suicide attempts, not the did. I really want to do it for me, and for my boyfriend. To be better. But honestly, I don’t know if it will work. Going to a psych just seems pointless. Idk. Will it? I don’t feel comfortable. I think I can and will do better without going for therapy.
found out that i have did
anyone here who also have multiple personality disorder?
I don’t know why I can’t help myself
I am not suicidal anymore, I think. Yes sometimes I think of dying, I wonder what would have happened if I just died or if any of my previous attempts worked. But I don’t want to die anymore. I’ve found a reason to live. I’m slowly trying to take care of myself, to love myself, to pay better attention to myself. I want to tell myself that I did well. That I really did a good job. I did outrun my mind. Not completely, the idea of just dying is not yet gone from my memory or thoughts whatever. But I am still proud of […]
I’ve been on other sites and it’s been a while since I last posted here. I accidentally met someone there and we’ve been in a relationship since the last two weeks. I know that I am happy, that I love him and that he loves me. He’s so sure of us. I’m also sure that I want to be with him but there’s one thing holding me back. I’m scared that I might break my promise and end my life before I can even see him.
I’m not gonna lie that the depression is still there. Yes I am happy but I’m barely getting up from […]
Everyday is a vacation to me. No classes or anything. For the past 4 days I did not do any chores. I’m not sure if it’s just 4 days or more.
My brother finally confronted me through text. Can’t even tell him it’s because of the attacks. I can’t seem to leave my room nowadays because of the sudden panic attacks. Because I might fail my resolve not to kill myself when I leave my room and hear any comments or what from my family.
I want to cry because the me that I just saved yesterday already vanished but the tears are not coming.
The only thing keeping me alive: waiting for the next book release of my favv series
Can someone just tell me how to die? I’m really tired of everything. This is my limit and I can’t go beyond it.