After all the bullshit, the hospital, etc. I felt no more ‘better’ than I did before all of that crap (read my other posts to find the other shit I have been going through). I actually feel much much worse than before (this post explains most of it).
I was trying to find just one reason to stay alive, and figured I could make one with my XGF. I figured we could try things again. I figured I could stay permanently, and make the kid’s life better. Now that she has no chance, the poor kid will go through “father” after “father” after “father”. She claims she knows what a ‘father figure’ is, and she says her in-law is already a father figure… Well, FYI, a father is someone who is around ALL of the time, not some of it… A father is home 24/7 with kids except for work and maybe the occasional outing.
I thought two shitty lives could make a good life… She disagrees… But she is wrong. Had she not screwed every chance of her even being a close friend any more, she would have figured it out… We could have been happy. Her child could have had a decent father figure around, and one that would stay… Well, she fucked all that up. I would have been happy.
Now as a result of her calling my life ‘a breeze’ compared to hers, I have lost all respect for her. She is now joining the rest who DO NOT UNDERSTAND by saying “life is what you make it”. Well, OBVIOUSLY this is NOT TRUE, because I would NEVER EVER make my life a shitty one, or anyone else’s for that matter.
Not even my closest friend understands, and now I have lost her. She knew more about me than my own freaking mother. She doesnt realize yet what she just screwed up….
I guarantee she will go from guy to guy to guy without realizing she is hurting her child more…
I am glad IÂ didn’tÂ get too close to her kid, although he did get attached to me (or maybe it was myÂ iPhoneÂ he liked to play games on haha)…. I feel just this may hurt him to find out I am not going to be around any more… Oh well, at least it was not my fault, and at least the kidÂ isn’tÂ heartbroken (not yet anyways).
You see? This is EXACTLY why I thought this might be a BAD idea… YouÂ didn’tÂ understand now, and I bet you still don’t understand or ever will.
I just lost my only true friend. My closest friend. I no longer have any reason (or hope for a reason) to live anymore… I was scrapping for one reason to live, and that would have been it, we COULD have been happy.
I don’t think I will ever be happy again. I just lost the only thing in my life thatÂ DID matter, all for her stupid nonsense. And then she blames it on me… Well I am not the one who started the day off with “your life is a breeze compared to mine”.
Good luck finding someone who cares just as much about your kid as he does you. You just lost a decent person (yes there is at least 1 of those in the world) and good luck finding another. I happen to know that 99.9% of guys are dicks, abusive, or otherwise unpleasant.