I wasn’t sure how. I was just sure when. I had no intent to see in the new year, alone, at midnight. So I was going to do it a little before midnight.
But I reached my limit today. I have lost everything, every dream I lived for. Everything is gone.
So I did a test run, just to see if my method would work. I do not want to go tonight, I’m making sure I have my affairs in order first.
My eyes started to close, and the sounds became distant and then it was silent. I stopped. I still need to do certain […]
lostza
I don’t wanna be alive
I don’t wanna be alive
I just wanna die today
I just wanna die
I don’t wanna be alive
I don’t wanna be alive
I just wanna die
And let me tell you why
All this other shit I’m talkin’ ’bout they think they know it
I’ve been praying for somebody to save me, no one’s heroic
And my life don’t even matter, I know it, I know it
I know I’m hurting deep down but can’t show it
I never had a place to call my own
I never had a home, ain’t nobody callin’ my phone
Where you been? […]
I’ve had four suicide attempts in the past. My family knew nothing of the first three, and my sibling suspected something on the fourth attempt.
So far, it’s not been an easy task, sharing a home. But now I am completely alone, physically and emotionally.
For many years, I struggled with the feeling of loneliness and having suicidal thoughts, even when I had a support system. Recently, my life is in a downward spiral, and I have just had my heart broken for what I hope is the last time.
I have two options now: hanging, or jumping. I’ve tried hanging before, and I recently found out the […]