My first true love, my high school sweet heart, my everything, the reason for being alive is now barely keeping me alive. I’m losing her every second of the day, I don’t know if it’s her or if it’s me but either way I’m feeling hopeless and abandon because I know she’s going to leave. Things ain’t the same I wish I could go back to when I was younger when our relationship was the best but I guess things happen for a reason, I just hope we’ll never end.
I could of been the greatest, I could of been the best, I shouldn’t have gave up on my dream when it was all I had. Its crazy how one day you could be perfectly fine but the next morning changes your life. I wish I could go back but going back ain’t a option in life. I will never forgive myself for quitting but I could teach others to not give up on their dreams and be the best they could be.
I’m on the edge of life at this moment I just want to drop dead at this moment, let my sickness get worst and kill me, or just get it over with IDC how I do it with pills, knife, jump off a roof etc I just wanna be gone …any suggestions ?
” what you going to do with your life ” shut up its my life like you said mom so there for I do what I want, when I want & how I want it. How dare you try to take away the things you didn’t help me get, take the dignity, the accomplishments etc you didn’t help me with shit & father whose that I fucking hate seeing your face every day. Ya both make me sick and feel like shit so I hope the pain you cause me eats you alive and leaves you there like a helpless child like how I did when I was a child so fuck you so call parents
The anger I have towards you is unbearable, make me feel lower then dirt, I hate you for everything I am, i ain’t scare of nothing but I’ll sure say i’m scare of myself because anything could happen. Dead or alive just know I hated you for everything you done
With all the suicidal thoughts, pain from health wise, feeling hopeless, always depress etc I have learned to deal with the challenge I have been given. Instead of trying to take my life away I will try to save those who are thinking of ending their life. Yes its going to be heard but its worth a try and maybe for once I could say I did something, maybe for once at least I could say I’m proud of myself.
Today was actually a good day, on top of that its the end of christmas and i went shopping and was actually thankful for everything i.have.
Why cant these feelings last forever.
Got out the hospital and feeling worst.i.cant do this.no more the pain is beyond pain because im use to it. Im a lone and nobody cares everybody yelling, frustrating making me angry which makes this pain worst.just kill me !
Cant control the way life works because every minute its changing, the way violence is taking over, depression and being unwanted is taking our teens and young childern, when we are the future. The way our emotions change due to the mind why cant the mind warn us why the heart stays getting hurt.
Everybody is changing for the worst with out noticing and with out wanting to its our nature. But tell me this are we that destroyed to fix whats broken and messed up in the world.
Time to pack my bags and leave this earth
I now know nothing is worth living for
I cry, i bleed sometimes i.even dream
Dream of dealth but now its all i see
I wanna be burn not buried
Lets see who.worries
I doubt it will be you or you
If theres an after life ill be brand new
it hurts it burns deep in my core my heart beats for her my life depends on her. She destroys me but she also makes me im in love with the stress,the pain the lust but most imporantly im use to her that i cant leave because there might not be nobody else like her. Almost 3 years and i still love you but i also grew hate but for some reason i smile when i say that and iknow you will always smile when you hear that. I cant change it even though i wish i.could but sometimes i like it because this is the love i.always understood.
July.12.2010 â™¥ </3
The fact of knowing that i might not get better drives me close to a dead end, maybe life its self is tryna get rid of me, pray to not take me away but then again give me a reason to stay ?